THE BALLAD OF OSAMA BIN LADEN

 

LAND OF THE FREE,
HOME OF THE BRAVE.
OSAMA, GO BACK TO YOUR CAVE!
I AIN’T GON’ LIVE MY LIFE NO OTHER WAY!
WHAT THE (explicit) DO YOU HAVE TO SAY?
YES, MUTHA-(explicit) YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO PAY!

YOU THROW PLANES INTO THE TWIN TOWERS,
MUTHA-(explicit), YOU’RE A COWARD!

I BET IF I HAD YOU AS SUPPER,
YOU’D TASTE SOUR, MAYBE LIKE SHIT!
BITCH, LISTEN TO ME A BIT!
YOU KILLED 5,000 INNOCENT VICTIMS,
POSSIBLY MORE!
THAT IS SOMETHING US AMERICANS CAN’T IGNORE!
YOU WANNA KILL?
THAN GO TO A STORE AND BUY A (explicit) DARTBOARD!

Sad Day - lyrics (song I wrote inspired by 9/11)

This was a song I wrote inspired by how I felt about the 9/11 terrorist attacks.

SAD DAY

(FREEDOM ITSELF WAS ATTACKED THIS MORNING,
BY A FACELESS COWARD,
AND FREEDOM WILL BE DEFENDED!)

WHY DID IT HAPPEN
IN THIS GREAT GREAT LAND OF OPPORTUNITY AND FREEDOM?
WHY DID IT HAPPEN
THAT WE HAD TO GET ATTACKED BY TERRORISM?
WHY DID IT HAPPEN
THAT OVER 5,000 PEOPLE DIED BECAUSE SOMEONE HAD A GRUDGE ON AMERICA?

NINE-ELEVEN-OH-ONE WILL BE A DAY THAT NO ONE WILL FORGET
IT’S A DAY THAT MADE EVERYONE UPSET.
BUSH IS DECLARING A WAR ON ALL TERRORISM,
AND I AM GLAD
BECAUSE WHAT OSAMA DID MADE ME REALLY MAD!

I NEVER FELT PATRIOTIC BEFORE NINE-ELEVEN-OH-ONE
IT’S SO VERY WEIRD HOW SAD THINGS MAKE A PERSON CHANGE

OSAMA THOUGHT HE KILLED THE SPIRIT OF AMERICA THAT DAY
WHEN HE DESTROYED THOSE BUILDINGS AND KILLED ALL THOSE PEOPLE.
HE DIDN’T REALIZE THAT AMERICA
ISN’T ABOUT BUILDINGS OR ECONEMY
IT’S ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO LIVE THERE, FREEDOM, AND OPPORTUNITY

OSAMA NEVER KILLED OUR SPIRIT THAT DAY,
HE STRENGTHENED IT.
USA IS UNITED AS ONE.
UNITED WE STAND, DEVIDED WE FALL.
AS ONE, OSAMA WILL FALL
BECAUSE OF THE ACT OF EVIL, TERRORISM
THAT HE COMMITTED ON OUR GREAT NATION

WE WILL GO TO WAR, FIGHT THE LONG HARD WAR,
AMERICA’S NEW WAR.
THE ONE AGAINST ALL TERRORISM
AND IN THE END, WE WILL WIN
THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA WILL NOT PUT UP
WITH THESE TREMENDOUS ACTS OF EVIL!
WE WILL NOT FALTER, WE WILL NOT FAIL, BUT WE WILL WIN!!

(USA, USA, USA!!)

(THOUGH I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH,
I FEAR NO EVIL BECAUSE GOD IS WITH ME!)

DID NOSTRADAMUS PREDICT SEMPTEMBER 11?

I personally am not into Nostradamus at all. But after reading an article about the so-called prediction of last Tuesday's events, and somebody mention something happening in New York City 2001 back when I was in High school in 1999, I remembered what they were saying, so I was put in shock. So I decided to do some research to see if maybe the prophecy could be true or untrue, because I know for a fact, that since Nostradamus wrote the prophecies in numerous languages, that they could have been misread, and maybe it could be a lie and meaning something else. I have spent 3 hours online today doing research, and I found out that the Nostradamus prediction of 9/11 sent out on the Internet have been altered. People adding their own words to it, or changing it to mean what happened 9/11 and taking other prophecies and combining them. Here's what those prophecies passing around on the Internet might look like (in "is the so-called prophecy):

"In the City of God there will be a great thunder,
Two brothers torn apart by Chaos,
while the fortress endures,
the great leader will succumb,
The third big war will begin when the big city is burning"
-Nostradamus 1654

But of course anyone who knows that Nostradamus died in 1566, knows that for a fact that Nostradamus couldn't have wrote that in 1654. How could he when he is dead? So that wasn't his writing. So it's a fake. That isn't all. Here's Another fake:

"On the 11th day of the 9 month,
two metal birds will crash into two tall statues
in the new city,
and the world will end soon after."

When I was doing my research, I found that this was all bogus. A more enhanced version of the above was floating around on the net:

"And Nostradamus predicted this (who knows how long ago):
In the year of the new century and nine months,
From the sky will come a great King of Terror.
The sky will burn at forty-five degrees.
Fire approaches the great new city
In the city of York there will be a great collapse,
2 twin brothers torn apart by chaos
while the fortress falls;
the great leader will succumb;
third big war will begin when the big city is burning"

My research strictly said this wasn't true. The theories people think is that 45 degrees is the position the place is at on the globe. It couldn't be New York, because I read in some more research that New York sits on 40 degrees. But the exact location is 40.5 degrees. Coincidence? I think so. It also says that the city is burning. The whole city is burning. I don't know. The whole city isn't burning at all. Just the world trade center.

I am scared that I think the war we are about to go into is going to be the beginning of Armageddon because people have always stated that the war of Armageddon is a different kind of war. And if it is the war of Armageddon, I was told by a real religious person that I work with that it would be peace worldwide at the end of it.

According to what the news has been saying is that Bush is declaring war against all of the terrorists worldwide. And that he was gonna rid the world of all evil. I don't know if I believe in predictions, ghosts, or aliens at all because of the fact that it all is a big mystery. Those mysteries remain the biggest mystery in the world along with the mystery of God.

I heard somewhere that the Antichrist that comes back in the book of revelation is the 3rd Antichrist, here is an unaltered Nostradamus prophecy of the 3 Antichrists. I'm not sure if they were unaltered or not, but I found out through my research that the article I got these prophecies from was a paper a college student did back in 1993. I'm not gonna copy the whole article, just the prophecies, and who they are thought to be. If you want to read the whole article go to: http://boisdarc.tamucommerce.edu/www/w/willmc/nostra.htm.

The first Antichrist prophecy:

An Emperor shall be born near Italy.
Who shall cost the Empire dear,
They shall say, with what people he keeps company
He shall be found less a Prince than a butcher.

From a simple soldier he will rise to the empire,
From the short robe he will attain the long.
Great swarms of bees shall arise.

A great troop shall come through Russia.
The destroyer shall ruin a city.

The rear guard will make defense.
The exhausted ones will die in the white territory.

The great Empire will soon be exchanged for a small place.
Which will soon begin to grow.
A small place of tiny area in the middle of which
He will come to lay down his scepter.

The captive prince, conquered, is sent to Elba;
He will sail across the Gulf of Genoa to Marseilles.
By a great effort of the foreign forces he is overcome,
Though he escaped the fire, his bees yield blood by the barrel.

(This is supposedly the Emperor Napoleon.)

The Second Antichrist prophecy:

Out of the deepest part of the west of Europe,
From poor people a young child shall be born,
Who with his tongue shall seduce many people,
His fame shall increase in the Eastern Kingdom.

He shall come to tyrannize the land.
He shall raise up a hatred that had long been dormant.
The child of Germany observes no law.
Cries, and tears, fire, blood, and battle.

A captain of Germany shall come to yield himself by false hope,
So that his revolt shall cause great bloodshed.

Beasts wild with hunger will cross the rivers
The greater part of the battlefield will be against Hister

Near the Rhine from the Austrian Mountains
Will be born a great man of the people, come too late.
A man who will defend Poland and Hungary
And whose fate will never be certain

(This is supposedly referring to Adolf Hitler, dictator of Germany to WW2. The name being predicted as to be "Hister" was off by a letter or 2!!!)

Now the most shocking, the 3rd predicted antichrist. According to Nostradamus, the 1st two were predicted to be evil. Which they were. The 3rd was predicted to be more evil than the first 2 by Nostradamus:

Out of the country of Greater Arabia
Shall be born a strong master of Mohammed...
He will enter Europe wearing a blue turban.
He will be the terror of mankind.
Never more horror.

In the year 1999 and seven months
From the sky will come the great King of Terror.
He will bring back to life the King of the Mongols;
Before and after war reigns.

The war will last seven and twenty years

The sky will burn at forty-five degrees.
Fire approaches the great new city

By fire he will destroy their city,
A cold and cruel heart,
Blood will pour,
Mercy to none

When those of the Northern Pole are united,
In the East will be great fear and dread...
One day the two great leaders will be friends;
Their great powers will be seen to grow.
The New Land will be at the height of its power:
To the man of blood the number is reported

This is first believed to be Sadaam Hussein. But no one's for sure. Another theory (one I came up with) is it be the culprit behind last Tuesday's events, Osama Bin Ladin. The terrorist in Afghanistan. He was born in Saudi Arabia!!! The person behind the worst event to ever happen in the USA. The prophecy states the war starts in July, 1999 in Europe. Was there any events that happened in Europe in July 1999? I don't know because I wasn't paying much attention to the news at that time. It also states that the war will last 7 and 20 years. This could mean "between 7 and 20 years." According to the book of revelation, the war of Armageddon lasts for 7 years. According to president Bush the war we're going into can last years. It also states that the sky will burn at 45 degrees and fire approaches the great new city. Supposedly "new" is not referring to a new city, but to a city that has the word "new" in it. They say it's New York City. But 45 degrees is inaccurate, because according to my research, New York doesn't lie on 45 degrees. But it does lie on 40.5 degrees!!! The fire that approached could be the fire that occurred after the twin towers fell down. The next phrase I don't know about. A fire didn't destroy the city. He did destroy the hearts of America though, but we got back up on our feet. He does have a cold and cruel heart, there were a lot of murders in the plane wrecks that day. That's why they say it was worse than pearl harbor. The line "Mercy to none" I can't really come up with a theory for. Bush isn't wanting to show mercy to any terrorist. He is wanting to rid the world of terrorists and evil. I think that's what it means. The last phrase I don't know anything about but it could be the future. But one thing I know is that Nostradamus didn't do his predictions from the bible he did them from his head. And apparently a lot of his predictions have actually occurred but than a lot of them haven't.

Did Nostradamus predict any of these events? Is this "New War" against terrorists the beginning of the end (ie, the 7 year war of armegeddon read about in the book of revelation)? They say the world will end or begin to end when there's no fighting in the world, and everybody gets along.

Bush was saying he's wanting to rid the world of Terrorism and evil. Could this in fact be the time we were all waiting for? The time we were all hoping we wouldn't be around to see? The time of Armegeddon?

Another thing to think about: I heard somewhere that every 1000 years something religious happens.

1000 years and Noah's ark
1000 years (can't remember this event, but I heard it somewhere)
1000 years and Jesus Christ
1000 years and Christian Crusades
1000 years from than is the year 2001. This year.

On another note, the middle east have been in a religious war for quite some time, and the war of Armageddon happens at a time when the world is full of different religions and beliefs, there would be a lot of violence going on before hand, and you do not see the war coming. there have been a lot of violence in the past 10 years, all kinds of religious beliefs in USA and the rest of the world, and we didn't see what happened last Tuesday coming at all.

The president also said to prepare for the worst. That's what they always said about the beginning of Armageddon to prepare for the worst.

Could this really be the end of the world as we know it? Should the people straying away from God get back into church? I think so, which means that I should.

I AM NOT a prophet. I cannot foresee or predict the future at all. I can tell you one thing and it probably won't happen. I just believe this because of what I have read, and heard about in the news all week, and what I heard 2 years ago and what not. But I feel, within my heart and soul, that this is it!!! The big one!!!! The war of all wars!!! World War 3!!! The war of Armegeddon(someone on CNN today, some military person, said that he called it ww3, even though it isn't countries against countries, it's countries against people. but since it's against a group of people world wide and the countries, it should be known as a world war. World War 3!!! As the saying goes "the 3rd time's the charm" which would mean "the 3rd time's the charm for world peace!"

I think it's really time to prepare for the worst. I was talking to some people at work last night, and they believe the same way. That this is the Armageddon. And if it isn't, it's the beginning of the Armageddon.

My Mom and I were talking about Tuesday's events 3 days ago and we weren't talking about the religious aspect of it. But she did say that Tuesday's events we never thought we'd see in our lifetime. What is the main thing people think they won't see in their lifetime? The battle of Armageddon the end of the world.

HOW MUCH HAVE YOU CHANGED SINCE 9/11/01?

I remember before the tragic events of September 11, I was never patriotic at all.  I never really owned an American flag, and I never was in a hurry to get one.  I also took advantage America's freedom.

I remember how much I hated politics and politicians.  I always felt they were liars and cheats.  I didn't like Clinton, not because he was morally wrong, but because he lied about what he did.  So what if he had sexual affairs with someone else.  If the public finds out about it, he shouldn't lie about it.  That's a way to lose the public's trust in someone.  I also read somewhere that Lyndon Johnson was the president that started sending troops over to Vietnam which I read was a war that American Troops shouldn't have fought in the first place.  Richard Nixon was good at ending that war, but than he steals from Watergate in the Watergate Scandal.  So I guess you could see why I was never into politics, they just always seemed to be up to no good.

I'm only 21, so the only war I've been through was the Gulf War (which I hardly knew anything about.  I just knew that Sudaam Hussein, who hates America, was involved and that it was fought over oil).  I was 13 when the first bombing at the world trade center occured, I was 15 when the bombing of the federal building in Oklahoma City happened, and I was still young and dumb (I cared but not as much) when those kids shot up their schools.  I cared about those tragic events, but after the reporters stories on them were over, I turned the other way like they never happened.  Not concerned by it at all.  As a matter of fact, I made jokes a lot about violence like that.

       That all changed after september 11.  I may be 21, but it wasn't until then when I woke up to the reality of how horrible this world can be.

When I first heard about the tragic event (I was chatting with someone online, they told me about it so I turned on the TV) I didn't think of the people at first, I'm into marvelous looking structures, so of course I thought of the building first.  I didn't know what to think when I saw Bush come on and announce that it was a terrorist attack on the country.  I was saddened about it yes, but not as much.  But Bush caught my attention because of how good of a speaker he is.  He helped me realize what was going on was horrible.

I didn't start to care about what went on until the next day.  My mom and I were going to the dentist.  I heard a country song by Dwight Yokam that was mixed with sound bites from the day before.

My mom and I were talking, and a sound bite came on about donating blood.  She was saying we should go donate, and I said I would, but I can't stand needles.  She told me it'd be for a good cause, which I already knew and I told her that. 

That night I went into work.  Later on that night I was thinking about the events and the victims.  And I was feeling really depressed.  I felt bad that I didn't donate blood at all.  I felt that I needed to do something to help the victims out.  The next day Walmart (where I work) started taking up money donations to help the victims out and the rescue efforts.  I donated a whole 50 dollars that night!!  And I am still donating money every chance I get!

I also wanted to get an American flag that night.  But they were all sold out (of course).  By the end of the week, I went to crafts and bought some red, white, and blue ribbons and had a CSM friend of mine make up some ribbons to wear.  I wanted to promote how I felt about the country now.  If I knew the colors to promote my feelings about the victims I'd be wearing those too.  Some of the ribbons I had the CSM make were sold for $1.00 each (proceeds going toward the relief funds).

When we started getting some patriotic stuff in, I bought a patriotic t-shirt, license plates, bumper stickers, and some small flags.  Waiting to get a bigger flag.  We haven't had any of those in for a while.  once we get the big ones in we sell out in 5 to 10 minutes!

Whenever I see Bush on TV or the radio giving a speech, I listen.  I want to hear him speak.  Out of all the politicians I couldn't stand, he changed my mind on the world of politics.  Now I think I'll go register so I can vote for him in 2004!  All the things he says America's gonna do in this new war, I agree with.  I CAN NOT STAND TERRORISTS 100%.  Get rid of them all.  First starting with the Al Quada network, the one behind the tragic events of September 11, lead by Osama Bin Laden (Get Him, Bush!!)  I think it was a good idea for Bush to declare war against the taliban, and when he did he also said we were gonna drop food supplies to the Afghan refugees to show how much America cares.  Some people thought that was a bad idea.  I didn't.  That's one of the best ideas I ever heard from an American president!

Now-a-days, I don't take advantage of my freedom.  Four words said by Bush on September 11, I will never forget.  "FREEDOM WILL BE DEFENDED."  I saw that on a license plate.  I bought it and I put it on my mom's van for her birthday.

I don't think I ever listened or cared much for patriotic tunes (no matter who is singing them) until that tragic day either.  Now my favorite tune (mixed with september 11 sound bites) is "God Bless The USA" by Lee Greenwood.  Every time I hear that song (even the original mix) it puts tears in my eyes.

I don't know what my favorite symbol was before, but now it's the statue of liberty or the bald eagle.  One of my favorite pictures (got a copy of it on my computer) is one that's been getting around on the net a lot, it's the one picture that has the bald eagle with a tear in his eye, and the New York City skyline behind him.  I think it shows an American flag on it too.

So in closing, how much have you changed since 9/11/01?  I conclude I have changed a whole lot since that day.  And a lot of people do see the change.  I wonder how much the rest of America has changed.

Freedom was attacked by a faceless coward wanting to kill innocent people to show his hatred on America.  That day he thought he'd kill our spirits by destroying two buildings of importance to America.

He didn't realize that the spirit of America isn't buildings or people in general.  The spirit of America deals with freedom, and it will be defended!  This is a new kind of war in America.  Where a country doesn't have to surrender to another, but a group of people have to surrender.  The terrorists.  Who can be hiding anywhere in the world.  Somewhat In the words of George W. Bush, "This is a new kind of war in America.  It won't be an easy war.  It will be a hard war.  And it will be a long war, will last for possibly years.  And in the end we will not lose.  We will not fail.  WE WILL WIN THIS NEW WAR ON AMERICA!!  Freedom Will Be Defended!"

Jeremy Diss

 

(During my early 20s, I lived the wigger-wannabe lifestyle and wrote a few raps during this period of my life and I used to work for walmart.  one of my co-workers there bet me thinking they could write a better rap, I apparently won because he never wrote one - this is what I wrote for the contest)

(VERSE 1:)
U SPIT OUT LINES SAYIN' I WREAK O' SUCK-O-CITY
WHILE I SPIT OUT RHYMES SAYIN' U WREAK O' GENEROSITY
IF U CAME TO MY CITY,
U WOULDN'T B DISSIN' PEOPLE LIKE ME
I'M SORRY JEREMY,
BUT DAT'S DA WAY IT HAS GOT TO BE
U AIN'T NUTTIN' BUT A MANAGER WANNABE
U THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME?
HA!  WE'LL SEE!
U THINK U GOT RHYMIN' SKILLS?
GET REAL,
CUZ I DON'T FEEL YA!
U MITE MARRY A BITCH TRAMP NAMED CICILLIA!

(VERSE 2:)
U ONLY CARE ABOUT YOURSELF
U CAN'T EVEN PUT THE FREIGHT ON THE SHELF
TELLIN' ME DAT I'M TOO SLOW
AND DAT I CAN'T FLOW
SO?
I KNOW THA TRUTH
I MAY STOCK THA JUICE
AND MOST TIMES I GET DONE BEFORE U
SO U BEST QUIT FRONTIN' IF U KNOWS WHAT'S GOOD 4 U

(VERSE 3:)
YOU'RE SINGIN'S 2 BAD 2 HEAR
WHAT?  U THINK WE'RE GLAD 2 HEAR?
NO, WE'RE MAD TO HEAR
WE DON'T WANT U 2 SING 2 US IN HERE
GO OUT THERE!
U DISS ME CUZ I CAN'T DRIVE
SO WHAT
AT LEAST I TAKE PRIDE TO WHAT I DO
Y DON'T I DISS U 4 DAT TOO
U DON'T TAKE PRIDE IN WHAT U DO.
YOUR ZONIN'?
IT WREAKS, IT STINKS, IT EVEN SCARES THE FREAKS
I THINK U NEED 2 C A SHRINK

(VERSE 4:)
U LIKE A JOCK & A PREP
NUTTIN' WORSE THAN A JOCK & A THREAT
U TELL ME I WREAK AT EVERYTHING
DAT I AM NON-TALENTED
DAT I DON'T HAVE ANY SKILLZ TO PAY ANY BILLS
YOUR PEOPLE AND I JUST DON'T GET ALONG
THEY ALL THINK I'M ALL WRONG
WHEN 4 REAL I'M RITE
DAT'S WHEN I TELL 'EM ALL TO BITE ME
'CUZ WHO IS DA ONE
WHO WANNABE RAPPER M.C?
BY GOD I THINK IT BE ME
DA G 2 DA C
SO JEREMY, REMEMBER
CUZ 20 YEARS FROM NOW U AIN'T GETTIN' MY MON-EY
CUZ U HAVE REALLY BEEN DIS-SIN ME
NOW U HAVE TO CONFESS DAT I WON THIS 'LIL CONTEST
SO U BEST QUIT BEIN' A PEST AND GIMME MY 20!

THE COPYCAT BOMBER

 

(I’m not too sure what anyone else would think of this story.  There was a lot of stories and talk about Ted Kazinski, the Uni-Bomber during the late 1990s, so I decided to write a story inspired by the uni-bomber case).

    Joe Atwell was an average guy.  He had things going for him.  He was a 30 year old college professor who taught computer programming at the University of Arkansas in Fayetteville.  Everybody who knew him, loved him. 

    Then one day something happened that would change his life forever.  His assistant John Cale gave him a package that was shoe box sized.  The package had no return address.

    They both were looking at it and wandering about it.  “What could it be?”  Asked Joe.  “I don’t know.”  Said John.  “It can’t be a pair of shoes.  Who would send a professor shoes?”

“Well…Maybe it’s a bomb!”  John said Jokingly.  “Get real, John!  Everybody loves me.  Who in this world would send me a bomb?”  Joe said.

“Don’t worry than.  It could just be a surprise package from a secret admirer I guess.” Said John.

    Little did they know was that the package they were looking at was a surprise package.  Joe opened up the box and before he knew it, a big humongous blast blew half the room away.  John went to get help but by the time help arrived it was too late.  Joe Atwell died instantly.  It became the first killing of the copycat bomber.  When the FBI got to the scene they didn’t find much that could be used as evidence except remains of the bomb and a piece of cardboard with 2 letters carved into it: J.A.  Ever since the bombing the University of Arkansas hasn’t been the same.

   
    Ted Kazynski was sitting up on his bed in his jail cell looking at the cover of a newspaper. 

Ted has been imprisoned for about 3 years and is now on Death Row for his bombings.  The headline on the paper read: “U of A Explosion, 1 Dies.”

    Ted read the article and realizes someone is copy-catting him.  He looks up from the paper and says to himself, “Hello.  I’m Ted Kazynski.  What you have just seen was not one of my works.  What you have seen was the work of someone copy-catting me.  The work of a copycat bomber.  Who is it?  I don’t know.  Not anybody I know because I don’t know anyone!”  He then laid down and went to sleep.

    James Alco was sitting in his room.  He turned his voice changer on, pressed record on his micro-cassette recorder and started talking.

    “Date: June 1st, 1999.  The first bombing was successful.  Professor Atwell died instantly.  I am in the process of making my next bomb.  I plan on planting it in a pilot’s seat of an airline.  This bomb is equipped with a wireless remote control that I could set the bomb off with.”

   
I just got passed the security at the airport.  I am going on a trip to Phoenix to visit some family I have there.  I had a book in my hand and I had my bag on my back, and my ticket to Phoenix, Arizona.  I was almost late for the plane so I started running.  On my way to the plane I ran into a pilot of an airline I work for.  His name is Michael Engell Schmitz. 

“Hey, Joe.  What’s your hurry?”  He asked me.  “I don’t wanna miss my plane to Phoenix, sir.  I’m going their to visit some family I haven’t seen in 10 years.  It leaves in 10 minutes.”  I said.

“Will, have fun.”  He said to me.  I got on the plane and took a seat by a window.  I couldn’t wait to get to Phoenix for the first time in 10 years.  I will be staying with my uncle Aaron Lowell.  When I took my seat the stewardess went through the usual routine at the beginning of the flight (I would know, because I’m a steward myself!).

Michael Engell Schmitz got onto his plane and got in the pilot’s seat.  He has always been talking to me about getting a different route.  He was sick of Dallas so his boss changed his route.  This time he’s flying to DC.

While he’s going to DC, I’m going to Phoenix.  Our planes are now both in the sky.  I decided to sleep for an hour.

When I woke up from my rest I wanted to listen to some music so I took out my walkman, and I put a Beatles tape in.  I pressed the play button and started listening to the sweet music. 

Little did I know was that the plane Michael was flying to DC explodes in the middle of the sky.  Half the pilot’s cabin was not there.  The co-pilot took over the controls and safely landed the plane in a small Virginian city.  Luckily it was only Michael who got killed.  The police were suspicious so they called the FBI.

The FBI came in to investigate.  They found the remains of the bomb and a computer chip with the letters “M.E.S” carved into it.  John Dickens looked at it.  “What the hell is M.E.S?”  He said to himself.

The FBI sat down at a rectangular table in their meeting room in DC.  “Guys, we got 2 bombings.  One in a university, one in a plane.  Both the bombs had letters carved in something.  On the bomb at the U of A we found the letters J.A. carved into cardboard.  In the plane bombing we found a computer chip with the letters M.E.S. carved into it.  Any of you guys have any ideas on what it could mean?”  John had asked. 
“What?”  James said looking at John.  “Do you think they’re both connected?  How?”
“Because their were letters found at the scene, dumbshit!”  John said.
“Will, it can be that small town in Montana.”  Said James.  “Not a bad idea said John.

The plane finally reached Sky Harbor International Airport in Phoenix.  I got my bag and my book and started getting off the plane.  My uncle will be picking me up.  I can’t wait to see him. 

He met me at the terminal door.  We started talking.
“So how’s life treating ya’?”  He asked me.  “Will.”  I said.  “How’s the Sqaw Peak Parkway coming?”  I asked him.  “Real slow.”  He said to me.

We kept on talking until we got to his house.  When we got to his house I turned on the TV to watch the news.  A TV anchor came on.

“In National News today, a plane was almost blown to bits in Virginia.  Pilot Michael Engell Schmitz died.”
“Oh my god!”  I said.

The FBI were really investigating this case now.  They brought in veteran bomb expert Joe Schmitzell.  Joe dealt with the Unabomber case for 20 years.  After seeing the last 2 bombings he expects it to be the work of a copycat bomber. 

He was looking at pictures and evidence sitting on the table.  He is talking to the FBI agents sitting around the table.  “Look, folks.  I think we have a copy cat bomber on our hands.”

“Why do you think that?”  Asked Mr. Dickens.  “Because, John, the Unabomber’s first 2 bombs were at a university and an airline.  He always left letters behind.

James was sitting in his room putting the finishing touches on his 3rd bomb.  He was going to place it on the Arizona State University campus somewhere.  He pressed record on his recorder.
“Date: June 10, 1999.  My 2nd bomb was successful.  Michael Schmitz died.”

I was on my way to the ASU campus.  My uncle works today.  My uncle teaches chemistry at ASU.  I turned on my rented car’s stereo and blasted a Will Smith song. 
I had my bag in the passenger’s seat and the top of my car was down.  I finally got to my uncle’s school.  I found a good parking space and parked there.  I got my bag, which has my uncle’s lunch in it, and started walking.

Little did I know, there was a bomb in my uncle’s locker.  I went to my uncle’s room to give him his lunch.  After that I left to go back to his house.

After his next class was over he went to his locker to get something.  He opens up his locker .  He noticed a small package.  He took it out and started looking at it.
He opens it up and it blows up in his face.  That was the last time I heard from my uncle.
The FBI came in to investigate…again.  They found yet another clue: The letters A.L.  carved in a piece of wood.  The FBI was stunned.

“One bomb goes off at the University of Arkansas, another in a plane during flight, and another on the Arizona State University campus.  Letters are left behind.  J.A.M.E.S.A.L.  Who will die next?”  Asked John.

James had just got back from the teacher’s locker area.  He had a typed note in his hand.  “John, I found this where the bomb exploded.  It says, ‘Sir, You were a good man.  J.A.’”  James read.  Joe was hearing all this.  “This guy is definitely obsessed with the unabomber because everything that this guy is doing  is unabomber reenactments: bombings at universities, planes, notes left behind, letters of the alphabet left behind.  There’s only one difference:  They’re not all the same letters.”

“Yeah.  That’s right.  What are all the letters, anyway?”  Asked John.  James pulled out the cardboard chip and cardboard and looked at them.  “Let’s see.”  He said putting them together.  “J.A.M.E.S. and the new one A.L.  Now it’s J.A.M.E.S.A.L…James Al?  Huh?”
“Who’s James Al?”
“Maybe it’s 2 people.”
The FBI was piecing the puzzle together.  What they couldn’t understand is why did the copycat bomber bomb Arkansas, a plane, and then Arizona?  Could that mean he’s traveling?
John was wandering what the letters meant.  “These are the initials of the victims.  Do they actually mean anything?”

James was in his room.  He talked into his recorder.
“Date: June 20, 1999.  My 3rd bomb was successful.  My 4th bomb will probably be my last.  The president of ‘Smith Airlines’ will receive it.”

The president of Smith Airlines lives here in Phoenix.  I decided to go pay him a visit.  I drove to his office which is on Broadway somewhere.  He was not there so I went back to my uncle’s house preparing to go back to Arkansas next week.

The president of Smith Airlines, Chris Oliver, got back to his office.  He got out of his car and noticed a small item next to his car.  It looked like a block with nails in it.  He picked it up to examine it.  It blew up in his face and killed him. 

The FBI was there instantly.  “I am sick of these bombings!”  Said John.  “Same here.”  Said James.  Joe found a piece of paper laying on the ground.  It said, “C.O. and that’s it.” 
“John, read this.”  Joe said handing the note to John.  John read it.  “What’s this supposed to mean?”
“I don’t know”
“Wait a minute, Joe.  Let’s put the pieces together.  J.A.M.E.S.A.L.C.O.  James Alco!!  That’s it!!  That’s our copycat bomber!!”  John said.  James looked at him.  “Who’s James Alco?”
“He used to work for the FBI about a year ago.  We fired him because he made all kinds of threats.  He was working on the Ted Kazynski case.  He changed his name after he got fired though.  Lord knows what it is now.”  John said.  “John, this came for you.”  Said John’s secretary handing him a package.  It was a box.  John opened it up.  It was a bomb, but luckily it was a dud.  They could’ve died!!

It’s real hard to get a person’s new name, and finding out where they live so the copycat bomber is still out there and he will strike again!!  Who do you think he/she is?  It has to be anybody who is still alive.  It could be me, you (the reader), or it could be anybody mentioned in this story who is still alive!!!!

All My Life

ALL MY LIFE,
I WAS TREATED LIKE HELL.
PEOPLE TREATING ME LIKE SHIT,
SO I JUST FELL.

DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WIT IT,
WAS NEVER TAUGHT!
DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO FIGHT,
WAS NEVER TAUGHT!
PLUS THE CONSEQUENCES,
WHAT IF WE WAS CAUGHT?

ALL MY LIFE,
I WAS ALWAYS LAST IN LINE (IF EVER).
PEOPLE TREATING ME LIKE I SUCK AT EVERYTHING
(DO ME A FAVOR)
GO TO HELL!

EVERY JOB I HAD,
IT SEEMED LIKE A CONTEST, AND I DO MY BEST
BUT IT NEVER WAS GOOD ENOUGH
IT SEEMED LIKE MANAGEMENT WAS SAYIN’,
“TOUGH, KID.  YOU’RE STUCK AT DA BOTTOM”

AFTER TWENTY YEARS, I CHANGE MY LIFESTYLE
BECAUSE I GAVE UP ON THE WORLD,
NEXT THING I KNOW, I WOULD’VE HAD A CHANCE
IF I DIDN’T GIVE UP,
I BLEW IT!

IF IT WASN’T FOR THE PAIN I DEALT WIT,
I WOULD’VE STAYED DA SAME AS I WAS
BUT I CHANGED ALL BECAUSE
OF THE HELL THAT DIS GOD-DAMN WORLD GAVE ME!

“SCREAM 3” movie review

· In case you haven't known, the "Scream" trilogy was always meant to be a trilogy. When Kevin Williamson turned in his spec script entitled "Scream" he also turned in a 5 page outline for the other two films saying that he meant for it to always be a trilogy, like George Lucas with "Star Wars" but with a killer. If you don't know what a spec script is, it's a script you write without having someone telling you to write it or writing on contract. Sort of like when you bored, you'd feel like writing something (if that makes it any clearer.)

· Rumor has it that according to Kevin Williamson's outline for "Scream 3" it was supposed to go back to Woodsboro, but the majority of people wanted it in Hollywood so it takes place there. It's a better place anyway because if you saw "Scream 2" Sydney tries out acting. But lets clear up something,

· Sydney doesn't try out for any films in "Scream 3" but she does go to Hollywood.

· None of the cast members for "Stab" return for "Stab 3," and Cotton Weary appears again, and so does Jamie Kennedy (the ever so famous Randy Meeks). I know what you're thinking-he's dead. Will it was an idea Wes Craven and Jamie Kennedy had to put him in the film. In the film they show Randy Meeks on a video cassette telling the rules of a trilogy in case he didn't survive in the sequel because he lost his virginity, and he mentions to who in the "final act."

· If you do pay close attention to the "Scream" movies you will notice that Randy gave out rules to abide by for a successful horror movie, it's sequel, and the final film.

· If you haven't seen this film yet I won't give out any information as to who dies in the first scene and also who gets killed or who is the killer. But this tops the other Screams big time.

· Since this is the last "Scream" movie, it's the best one. If you're a big "Scream" fanatic, go see it. It's definitely worth the seven dollars.

Bad Influences

Foul music, slasher movies, cult cartoons, and 'killer' video games. A lot of people say that this type of stuff are a bad influence on kids. They say they give people bad ideas. If that was a known fact than how come I don't get any bad ideas in my head?

I'm a big "Scream" fan, "South Park" fan, and I enjoy such hard music as Metallica, Kid Rock, and Korn who talk about bad things. They never really mean any bit of it though.

If this stuff gives off bad ideas, than how come some people who listen to Marilyn Manson aren't gothic or killing people? I have a friend who I work with who is a big Marilyn Manson fanatic, yet he's not gothic and he doesn't like the idea of killing people. When the Columbine High School shootings happened, people blamed it on Marilyn Manson. All Marilyn Manson is is an artist. An entertainer. His job is to entertain people, not to teach people. The people who make horror movies, cult cartoons, and video games aren't out there to teach anyone anything. They're out there to entertain you.

Go ahead blame the music, movies, games, and cartoons all you want for the world's troubles, but they're the wrong things to blame. The fact is the bad influences to kids these days are other people. Parents, friends, peers, anyone in particular that people know well. Who do you think is dumb enough to listen to guys who look like girls that are freaks who wear black contact lenses? Who do you think will listen to people who wear clown makeup? Come on, people. Entertainment don't create psychos. Psychos are already created. It is in the minds of the psychos. Think about that.

Celebration of The New Millenium

· At about 6:00 A.M EST, Peter Jennings, along with all of the other ABC NEWS correspondents, started a day long Third Millenium celebration that was broadcast on ABC all day long on December 31, 1999 all around the world. It was a spectacular day all over the world, and here at home. I was watching most of the broadcast, and I just fell in love with the way technology is compared to 100 years ago. 100 years ago, ABC couldn't have done what they have done on December 31. They planted ABC correspondents all over the world with ABC cameras. They had Barbara Walters in France, and even Charles Gibson in England. They also had correspondents in Aukland, New Zealand; Sydney, Australia; Japan, China, Greece, Italy, South America, Canada, and other places all over the world.

· The first place to celebrate the coming of the new millenium was the eastern most island in the world and is an hour away from Aukland, New Zealand. This little island is Kiribas, or Kiribati. They renamed it as the Millenium island because it was the first place to go into the new year. They had no worries of the Y2K bug because they had no computers. The only people that were inhabiting this island was just a little tribe. The way they celebrated was the best way a tribe can celebrate, and that was to celebrate a little 12 year old boy becoming a man. His father lit this torch and they got into a boat to see what the future has set for him.

· The next place to hit the new millenium, was the first industrial city to switch over to the new millenium, and that was Aukland, New Zealand. ABC news had a Y2K tech correspondent there for this reason. When 12:00 AM on January 1, 2000 hit there (it was 7:00 AM on December 31, 1999 here) they

· had a wonderful celebration. About 3 minutes later, he went to draw out some money from the ATM machine with no problems at all. The receipt showed "12:03 AM January 1, 2000" on it. The first baby to be born in the new millenium, was also born in New Zealand.

· Two hours after that, Australia started the switchover. No Y2K bug problems here. In Sydney, they celebrated by a show of acrobats climbing up the world famous Sydney Opera House.

· Tokyo hit two hours later, and they had no problems with Y2K. They had a wonderful celebration.

· Now, I am not going to go through all the countries with you, but lets pick up about 9 hours later when the new millenium came to France. No Y2K problems here. The french people dressed up the Eiffel Tower with neat looking glitter light for an awesome show, in which it was. for the last 1000 days, they had a clock on the tower to count down to the new millenium, it stopped working at about 7:00 in Paris, but the show still went on. They found out later that it wasn't a Y2K glitch, but from water that got into it from a rain storm a few days ago. They had Ferris Wheels down a street in Paris that had different themes. One had acrobats on it, one you could ride, one was a constellation, and another was one you can leave messages on for the internet.

· An hour later the new millenium hit England. They celebrated with a spectacular fireworks show that lasted probably for 30 minutes in London. They had built a wonderful dome titled the "Millenium Dome" for this wonderful occasion, where an english singer sang "God Save The Queen" for the queen there, don't think the queen liked the modern version of it though.

· The first place to hit the millenium in North America was also the only place in the world with only a half timezone, and that was up in Newfoundland, Canada. They celebrated by counting down with dancers on stage.

· And then it started going downhill from there because it hit New York City an hour later and they did the traditional Dick Clark Times Square ball drop. And after that it just started sweeping through the US like a wind storm.

· The celebrations just kept happening all over the world as the new millenium started to pass through from country to country, and you were able to see it all happen live on ABC. When I was watching it, it looked to me that each country was competing against each other for best new year's celebration,

· in which Aukland started. Talk about a global community.

Love

(note: this poem I entered in a national poetry contest back in 1998 even though I wrote it back in 1996 or 1997.  It became a finalist and was published in a book.  I almost bought the book, but didn’t have the money to buy it at that time.  So I know that right now somewhere in this world someone is reading this exact poem.  I didn’t win nothing for it though, but maybe my chance will come again.)

Love will make you fly above,
love will make you fly like a dove,
love is the best to be in,
love is the best to believe in,
love is the best so don't ever sin,
love!
Love a girl that'll make you twirl
to look at her,
Now you're a kind sir!
Love will make you fly high into the sky,
love will make you chase her
then you face her,
then you walk and talk with her,
but I'm a little too shy
and that's why I don't!

DON'T BELONG HERE

(note: I wrote this one when I was in In School Suspension during my Sr. Year for something I wrote that didn’t have to do with the school at all)

I don't belong here,
This is one place I really do fear!
Seven days here,
What a drag!
Makes me want to die!
Makes me want to cry!
They don't have the right!
They think I'm nutty, but I'm not,
I'm just trying to be funny, when I'm not!
My days have not been very sunny,
I wish I had a lot of money!
I wish I just ditch this place!
No harm done,
Nothing done wrong!
I wish I could slam a case in their face!
What I wrote wasn't a threat
But they took it that way!
I'll move into a cave
Down by the bay
So I could watch the waves,
At least I'll know I'll be OK!
Hello, Mr. Fay!
Guess what, the school you work for has to pay!

CAR BASH '99

In high school we had this thing every year called the Street Jam. One of the events at the Street Jam was called the Car Bash)

Yo, We are all fans of the Street Jam!

Oh, man!

Hot Damn!

There's gonna be a car bash at this year's Street Jam, 1999!

It's all free.

You don't have to pay a dime or a fine as a fee!

I got to pee!

Get to key the car up,

Beat the fuck out of it,

Throw it in the LA tar pits,

Tear it into bits,

Thrash it, trash it,

Flash it, bash it,

Crash it, slash it,

Mash it, smash it,

Take a sledgehammer and beat the shit out of it,

Rent it out to someone who pouts and shouts as a rent-a-wreck!

Do you watch "Star Trek?"

Wait a minute,

What's that have to do with anything?

Blow out the tires, bang bang bang!

Let me do my own thing!

It's the Car Bash '99!

Anyone got spray paint?

I'm high, I think I'm gonna faint!

No one will be my mate,

So beat the shit out of this car!

And then I'll throw it in the street and watch it get beat!

I ate some meat!

Other cars ran over it a bit,

The end, my friend!

SONG DEDICATED TO THE 60s MUSICIANS

 

Things have changed over the years
And you may have drank a whole lot of beer.
You wrote all kinds of songs about what was going on
The styles of music has changed
And it's all because of you.
You know how to write classic melodies,
That I wish I knew how to
What happened to the music these days?
No one can write songs like you can.
Bobby Dylan was a great poet and he still is
Lennon and McCartney was a great songwriting team, I wish they still were.
John Fogerty knew how to write a good war protest classic, where is he now?
There are some good tunes today,
But nothing compares to those of the 60s.
Things have changed over the years, so will I?

I Love The First Amendment - poem

I wrote this in response to the punishment the Northside High School authority gave me after finding lyrics to a song I wrote that was inspired by both Eminem and Adam Sandler tracks.  I don’t have that song written down.  They took it from me before I was able to put it on file on the computer, but they claimed I was talking about people at the school.  I really wasn’t, and since the 1^st amendment gives you the right to write without fear of others say so, I decided to write this poem in response to the wrong punishment I got.

I LOVE THE FIRST AMENDMENT

Why does a person have to pay a fine
Just because they've got a creative mind?
Why does a person have to do time
Just because he's got a creative mind?
I got seven days in DSC, possibly the rest of the year
That's one thing I really fear
I don't feel so dear!
I got the 1st amendment to help me
(I'm the defendent)!
Freedom of speech, freedom of press!
The school will be defeated with no threats!
I love the 1st amendment
It rocks!
Write what you want, you ain't a communist!
You just write it, you don't do it!
Nothin' wrong with that!
It may be the '90s and society is different, but you just write!
You got the right!
Write what you want to write!
Look at Stephen King and Wes Craven
They ain't misbehavin'
They're just writin'!
I don't care, it's not fair!
I got sentenced to seven days in DSC!
Why can't they just see
I just write the fright on this site,
The first amendment gives me that right!

Jesus Christ

(This was an attempt I made at writing a serious Christian song to the tune of “RUBY TUESDAY” by The Rolling Stones)

They could never explain how he did it.
He was put on that cross than died.
He makes the sun be bright
on a cloudy day!
Died for me
So I love you!

(Chorus:)
Hello, Jesus Christ!
You can heal
the blinded man!
You were put on that cross for me
so I'm gonna love you!

Don't worry!
Forgive me for my sins!
You told me it's the only way to
live!
You just can't be changed to
a life where Satan lives!
We're not lost!
We're all Christians!

(Chorus)

There's no time to lose!
I heard you say,
"Mike, I was put on the
cross for you, so I love you!
Please follow my word.
Please spread me around!"

(Chorus 2x)

STOP THE SCHOOL VIOLENCE

 

Note: Over the last 10 years there have been a lot of mass public shootings.  but by 1999, there were at least 10 mass school shootings - the one at Columbine High School in Littleton, COlorado on April 20, 1999 being the worst one at the time.  This song I wrote after that incident expressing how I felt about all the mass school shootings I was hearing about at that time.

(Chorus)
How cruel!
Too much violence in our schools!
How uncool!
What such fools,
To cause such violence in our schools!!

(Verse 1)
In the last two years we had to fear!
It seems like these people don't even care!
How unfair!
It seems like they're always a pair!
Oh, dear!
It seems like the end is always near!
I'm forming tears
I'm so sad
Because what they did is so bad!

(Chorus)

(Verse 2)
It happened in Arkansas, Oregon, and Colorado,
Oh wow!
Our nation is going down!
We will all drown
In pain and sorrow!
Our schools are horrible!

(Bridge:)
So many people
It happened to!
Happened to
So many people!
(repeat)

(Chorus)

(Verse 3)
Dear God,
Why did this have to happen
In your world under heaven?
Dear God,
These people don't celebrate the sabbath
And they aren't very clever!
Will they ever realize that what they did was wrong?
Will they ever realize who they killed?
Will they ever feel the way we feel?
The school victims got such a raw deal!

Funny Jokes

I wrote these jokes back in 1999 when I was still in high school and immature.  I read them again about 13 years later (in 2013) and realize some of the ones referring to historical events probably aren’t even accurate, since I learned more about those events as I got older, lol. I apologize in advance  if these jokes might offend anybody who eventually reads this post.  I post a lot of older stuff on my blog for posterity and for others to enjoy, but it doesn’t necessarily say that’s how I act or believe anymore as I get older.  Enjoy!

 

Mr. Robinson (Eddie Murphy) Walks in his apartment and talks about today's episode. "Hello boys & girls, today we're gonna learn how to go down chimneys dressed like Santa Claus and put wrapped up dog shit under the christmas tree, and how to put crack, pot, LSD, Shrooms, cigarettes, alcohol, Poppies, and drug paraphanalia in the stockings, then after that we'll learn how to raid the food in the fridge and take some radios and TVs and some VCRs that aren't ours, like taking milk & cookies.

 

. The Menandez children just got there own TV show entitled: "Life With Menandez." There first episode is entitled "Hey boys and girls, hate you damn parents cause one's abusive and the other's no help? Well you're watching the right show, because today we'll show u how to kill your parents, lie about it, take your parents money and buy stuff, and then go to court 6 years later.

 

. Charles Manson is being interviewed by Ted Coppel: "I love to kill people for a living. I either shoot them or stab them. If you want to be a serial killer call this number 1-900-murder-me."

 

. Michael Jackson promoting a new song off a future album: "I'm not a faggot, it's just that I'm a sweet transvestite and love it so much, just another Ru Paul!"

 

. Jeff Foxworthy on his trademark: "If you listen to me you might be considered a redneck, if your dog is loose you're a redneck, if you're a faggot you're a damn transvestite, give me a gun so I can blow your head off!"

 

. OJ Simpson interview with Barbara Walters: "I didn't kill no one because I'm an ex-football star and so whatever I do is innocent except for when I killed Nicole and Ronald, so as long as nobody knows I'll be free, finding women and killing them."

 

. David Letterman's top 10 reasons to watch his show:

10. Because there's nothing else on

9. Because Jay Leno eats too many Doritos

8. OJ Simpson's trial is over

7. To see me smoke my cigar

6. Because I'm funny

5. You'd actually wanna watch Oprah Winfrey like Peg Bundy?

4 Arsenio Hall retired

3. I've been doing the show ever since the 1970s

2. You didn't know there was a so called show

1. If you don't I will shove a bomb up your ass and blow you away.

Stupid TV Shows

(I apologize in advance if this offends some people - this is a comedy bit I wrote back in high school in 1999)

If it's one thing I can't stand at all, it's those stupid TV shows. You know which ones I'm talking about. It's those shows with epioode titles like "My boyfriend slept with my best friend." These are the same shows which have scripts that go something like this, "You bitch!! You (beep) ing bitch!! You (beep) ing slut!! You slept with my (beep) ing Boyfriend, you (beep) ing whore!!"(Punches and kicks air)You stupid bitch!!" (pause) What really surprised me is the ratings of these stupid shows. These shows have higher ratings than NBC's ER and the WB's Dawson's Creek or 7th Heaven. The most popular one of these stupid shows (they cal1 them Daytime talk shows) is Jerry Springer. To me, in my opinion, That guys a damn nut case. He's a damn pervert!! Like I mean, who in the world ever heard of subjects like "My tits are bigger than yours!" "My son is a gay faggot" "My Husband cheated on me" (pause) yeah? So? What's your point? My Wife (beep) ing cheated on me!! I am not making this up, these subjects are actually shown on the TV screen. That show's so damn popular they put it on tape uncensored and they put it in the new-release section of the movie stores. Where it belongs is the adult section. The movies a damn porno!  I should go do a show like that.  "Today on the Mike Irvan Show we got whores who don't know who there husbands are!"

    Another type of show I can't stand is those wrestling shows. To me it looks like gay men grabbing each other. I was reading this book about Michael Jackson, and I was thinking "Good Lord!! This guy's a sick pervert pedophile!!" In this book it talks about Michael Jackson, a 40 year old man, grabbing a 12 year old boy's balls!! Michael Jackson would be a perfect wrestler. Since every "Perfect" wrestler has a nick name, Michael Jackson's would be "Bad Big Bubba." Like I mean, who wants to watch a show with guys grabbing each other? I was surprised when I saw a survey of sports most watched. I was thinking maybe football. The one with the most votes on this survey was wrestling. I was like, "Good Lord!!" I think the worst wrestler On TV is that guy who loves to flip off the camera, and his boss, and the photographer. Those of you who watch NWO Wrestling know who I'm talking about (pause) "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. This guy also makes fun of the bible. He takes one of the best versus in the bible and changes it into his own. He took John 3:16, and transformed it into "Austin 3:16". This guy's a real nutcase. What I really don't understand is why do they call wrestling a sport? It's not a sport. They go by a silly script that is written something like this: "Stone Cold grabs Bad Big Bubba, Bad Big Bubba goes 'woohoo, I'm bad', bad big bubba grabs Stone Cold by the balls, flips him over, and Bad Big Bubba wins. End of Round one".

    Another type of show I can't stand is soap operas. Those daytime talk shows remind me a lot like those stupid soaps. Only difference is is that there are no subject titles, and no audience in the soaps. Whoever heard of a show that showed nothing but a dimmed lit room in a house with a man and his wife's best friend in there saying, "You know, we oughtta quit this. one day we're gonna get caught." Of course, they always end that scene with the Man's wife coming in the room going, "Oh my god!! Honey, I want a divorce, you stupid bastard!!" You know what true story I think should become a soap? The Bill Clinton Scandal. And in the credits it would say, "Based on the book by Kenneth Starr which was based on a true story." I could see it now, Hillary Clinton walks in on Bill and Monica and goes, "Honey!! You didn't!! What would the people think!!" Bill Clinton would be like, "You Bitch!! I'm sick of your bitchy attitude!!"

THE BALLAD OF JOHN LENNON

 

Among the hills of Liverpool, England
1940 you was born.
In the '50s you picked up a guitar.
You played at the cavern in your own band
And have got some fans.
Your band was called the Quarry Men
And now you got some money to spend.
Your band consisted of yourself, Paul, George, Stu, and Pete.
On that stage you always stood on your feet.
You played songs from famous American groups,
But you never played for the American troops.
With songs like "You Really Got A Hold On Me"
You had to pay a copyright fee.
Pete had to quit, and so did Stu,
And you ran into a guy who had rings on every finger,
He was a drummer and a singer.
The 1960s rolled around,
The 1950s had ended.
You changed the name to an inspired name from an American group
So now you have the fame to play like an American group.
The Beatles was your idea that obviously succeeded
You would never become defeated.
With songs like "Love Me Do"
You didn't have to pay a copyright fee to.
Your new band consisted of yourself, George, Paul, and Ringo.
You and Paul made a good songwriting team.
In '64 you played for Ed Sullivan
And you became famous.
In '68 your group's best selling album was released
And in 1970 your famous group broke up and went solo.
None of them liked to play Polo.
In the next 10 years you released number one's
With "Imagine" and "Love" being among.
You and Yoko had a son named Sean
And had fun with him at dawn.
Little did you know the '70s would be your last years,
So you didn't have any fears.
1980 rolled around, you had 11 months left.
You released one more album,
And didn't release such demos as "Free As A Bird" or "Real Love"
But your group did 16 years later.
You were shot in the back and died on
December 08, 1980.
John Lennon, We all love you!