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Saturday, November 8, 2003

SO HOW DID 21ST CENTURY POP MUSIC COME TO BE ANYWAY?

If you are in your teens or 20s, chances are you enjoy listening to such musical acts like Limp Bizkit, Korn, Britney Spears, Dr. Dre, Eminem, Snoop Dogg, Evanescence among thousands of others. But where did these styles we hear today come from? I know that you don’t hear the resemblance in it at all, but it comes from 100 years of musical evolution and experimenters!

In the late 1800s and early 1900s, old western cowboys would play an acoustic guitar around a campfire, which could be classified as cowboy music. About the same time down in the southern part of the country, musicians playing different world music styles like celtic and different instruments, they came up with a style called bluegrass, which is still popular today among some southerners. This was the same time period that slavery was still going on in the country, and the black slaves would sing their “holler” songs. These holler songs is what evolved into blues music in the 1920s. In the 1920s, black musicians from the Mississippi Delta started picking up guitars and playing them with a different style, and added a Hawaiian style of playing to it by breaking their empty liquor bottles and using the shattered glass as a slide to do slide guitar with, but instead of playing it laying down in their lap like the Hawaiians did, they played slide with the guitar sitting upright. Bluegrass guitarists picked up on the style too, but chose to play slide in their lap like Hawaiians did. Sometime after the blues came onto the scene, New Orleans musicians got a hold of the style, and fused it with their own style that came from a classical feel, which became jazz music. When whites got a hold of jazz at this time, and made it somewhat fast, it became known as swing. In the 1930s and 1940s is when some musicians took this blues, bluegrass, and the cowboy music and fused them all together which became country music. In the 1940s and 1950s, some Mississippi Delta blues musicians moved north to Chicago and were introduced to electricity, and started plugging in there instruments, and came up with the electric blues sound. Some of them, because of the new electric sound, started playing their blues at a faster pace which was soon to become Rock & Roll (this includes Chuck Berry). In 1950s Texas, Buddy Holly and Bill Haley, among others, started playing country songs on electric, and faster which gave a new style and sound and they became the first known ROCK stars! It’s about this same time when an unknown recording studio in Memphis, Tennessee owned by Sam Phillips called “Sun Records” were producing songs for acts like Jerry Lee Lewis, Elvis Presley, Carl Perkins and Johnny Cash. When Elvis Presley came onto the scene, no one before him tried fusing electric blues and electric country together. When we into the army in 19659 or 1960 and when the Big Bopper, Ritchie Valens and Buddy Holly died in a horrible plane wreck in February 1959, everyone thought that rock and roll died.

In Southern California in the early 1960s, surfing was a big thing among kids, and musicians would start putting out a different kind of rock called “surf” music. It was really mellow, but it was full of melodies, and Harmonies. At about this same time, some acoustic musicians were getting into a style called “Folk” music, and it was starting to become a phenomenon. At the same time, groups in England were experimenting with American music, but making it louder and heavier. When the Beatles came onto the American scene in February 1964, American musicians started realizing they needed to make a change musically. So in California musicians started fusing surf rock with folk and came up with the “folk-Rock” sound of Mamas & Papas and Bob Dylan, and even the hippy groups from San Francisco, California. About the same time in Detroit, Michigan Berry Gordy founded Motown Records and started signing black acts to perform on his label. Even though there was R&B in the 50s, that was a mixture of blues and rock, The 1960s R&B sound was different. It was like a fusion of Jazz and Blues. In the late 1960s, some Motown musicians (known as the Funk Brothers) among other R&B musicians, started using more bass lines than anything else, which became funk.

In the 1970s, we had a second british invasion with groups like Led Zeppelin which were harder and heavier than previous styles, which became known as Heavy Metal. At about the same time, R&B musicians, who became funk musicians for a time, created disco, which lasted until 1980. In the late 70s, there was a new kind of music come onto the scene in New York City called Rap. The idea came for it came from DJs for funk stations in Philadelphia would rap community info over the records. The first popular rap song was a disco song called “Good Times”. The group who put it out, The Sugarhill Gang, changed the words and gave it a faster beat and than called it “Rapper’s Delight”, which is probably where the name for the music, “RAP”, came from. In 1985, Aerosmith and Run-DMC got together and put out the first ever rap/rock song. A song called “Walk This Way.” In the late 1980s, street gangsters from southern California got a hold of the music and came up with Gangster Rap.

In the early 1990s, bands from Seattle, Washington came onto the scene with a style that wasn’t like anything else. At the time they called it grunge, but it was early alternative rock. At about this time, a group known as The Red Hot Chili Peppers came onto the scene with a funky rock sound. Probably was the first band to do Rock with a Rap feel. In the mid 1990s, metal started becoming more popular than ever, and some metal acts started combining their style with rap, and came up with Rap/Metal.

As for the Britney Spears, NSync, Mandy Moore and Christina Aguilera sound? It’s R&B, but modern R&B. Which comes from rap beats, but just more mellow, and I told you where rap came from.

There you have it, folks. Now you know where 21st century popular music came from, you should appreciate the older stuff still, because if it weren’t for that older stuff you wouldn’t have what you hear today!

Wednesday, July 16, 2003

LOCAL BAND BRINGS CLASSIC ROCK AND BLUES SOUND TO THE OZARKS

The Kingtut Blues Band has been around for over two years, and they play all kinds of gigs all over the state of Arkansas. The band was formed by 50 year old Tut Campbell who first moved to Arkansas back in 1997. Tut grew up in Atlanta, Georgia where he played blues and classic rock music with bands there. His main love is blues, but his heritage is classic rock.

The band now consists of Tut Campbell from Harrison, Arkansas on Guitars; Pat "Jawbone" Kenyon from Little Rock, Arkansas on Harp; Todd Richard from Bentonville, Arkansas on bass; Jesse Humphrey also from Little Rock, Arkansas on keyboards; and Ricky Bowen from Springdale, Arkansas on Drums. In the past, Alan Clark, Michael Shwade, Mark McGee and Rob Henderson had played with the Kingtut Blues Band also.

Lately, I have been going to there gigs a lot, and they do put on a really good show! I think if I had to choose what songs I like to hear the most, it'd either be Tut's rendition of Cream's "Sunshine of Your Love" or Todd's renditon of Bob Dylan's "Knockin' On Heaven's Door."

The band has 2 CDs available of Tut's favorite blues songs. "Blues Power" and "Mo' Blues". THere is another CD available for sale of some of Tut's originals, called "Resurrection Express." They also have shirts available.

If you are interested in buying any of these CDs or T-Shirts, or want to know where there gigs are at so you can see them play, just go to www.kingtutbluesband.com.

Saturday, February 15, 2003

INSECURE

 


ALWAYS FEEL DISRESPECTED
NOTHING EVER TO REPRESENT
SOCIETY MAKES ME FEEL NEGLECTED
I STILL HAVEN’T FELT ACCEPTED
THAT’S WHY I’M IN A STATE OF DEPRESSION!
LOOK IN THE MIRROR, I HATE MY REFLECTION!
VERY INSECURE AND THAT’S A CONFESSION
100 PERCENT, THAT’S ALL I’LL ADMIT
SOMETIMES I FEEL I’M GONNA THROW A FIT
I HATE MYSELF, ALL OF IT!
SO DAMN INSECURE WITH MYSELF AND I’M HATIN’ IT!
HATE MY LOOKS, MY IMAGE
I DON’T EVEN HAVE ENOUGH CONFIDENCE

I FEEL USED, ABUSED, REFUSED,
NEVER REALLY LOVED AND SO CONFUSED.
TELL ME – WHAT SHOULD I DO?
SO DAMN INSECURE
THAT I HAVTA LIVE MY LIFE IN SO MUCH FEAR
SO INSECURE I FEEL I NEED TO DRINK MORE BEER
NOT MUCH CONFIDENCE,
SO I FEEL MY LIFE IS FULL OF HOLES AND DENTS
SO MANY THINGS I WOULD LIKE TO CHANGE
BUT WHERE DO I START?
MY LIFE IS PULLED SO APART!

LOOKING FOR FUN
LOOKING FOR LOVE
LOOKING TO BE LIKED AND NOT DISLIKED
LOOKING TO BE ACCEPTED AND NOT REJECTED
LOOKING TO HAVE BETTER FEELINGS
TOWARDS PEOPLE INSTEAD OF ALL THE BAD VIBES I FEEL
LOOKING TO BE WITH LOTS OF PEOPLE
HANG AND CHILL
TIRED OF BEING BY MYSELF
IT’S MAKING ME ILL
HOW SHOULD I FEEL?
I’M SO INSECURE
WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Monday, February 10, 2003

THE LONER

 

Why am I never accepted?
Why am I always shy?
Why was I treated poorly by all my peers growing up?
Why couldn’t they have treated me better?
Why did my past affect my present (or even worse my future)?
Why can’t I just go on with my life?
Why at one point I can feel happy, but most of the time I don’t?
Why can’t I break away from my fear of rejection?
Why do I always feel ignored?
Why do people have there get togethers and parties and never invite me?
Why is my social life the internet?
Why am I such a loner?
Why am I never loved by anyone?
Why have I never been in a real relationship when I want one so bad?
Why is it that when I find her, I’m finally happy and than she breaks my heart?
Why do I still love her?
Why do I feel like I’m a threat to society?
I never wanted to be popular, I just wanted to be accepted.
I do see popular people and I wish I had what they have (a life)!
They have friends, parties, relationships!!!
I don’t really have all that (actually I feel I don’t have none that)
I’m always so bored, lonely, depressed!
Why do I wish that some people my age I knew could read some of my stuff and see the real me?
I feel they’d actually like me if they just found out about the real me and not just ignore me!

Sunday, January 19, 2003

I Love You So Much

BABY, NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD EVER FIND YOU
AND NOW THAT I FOUND YOU, DON’T EVER WANNA LET U GO
HAVIN’ 2 WAIT 6 DAYS IS TORTURE TO MY SOUL!

LOVE U SO MUCH,
MISS U SO MUCH,
BABY, U KNOW IT’S TRU
I WANT US 2 REMAIN 2 AND NEVER BE THRU!

BUT WHY DO I STILL FEEL ALL ALONE?
I THINK I KNOW WHY
BECAUSE WE ONLY SEE EACH OTHER ONCE A WEEK.
I FEEL IT’S TORTURE TO HAVETA WAIT SO LONG.
I LOVE YOU!

DON’T LET ANYONE DOUBT THE NET!
TRUST ME, IT’S HOW WE MET!
IF IT WEREN’T FOR THE NET,
I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE NEVER FOUND SUMONE
QUITE AS NICE AND LOVELY AS YOU.

MARY I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!

Monday, December 16, 2002

Singing Through My Nose (parody of “Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door”)

When I used to work at Wal-Mart I was talking to a friend of mine and I was telling him how back in Jr. High and High School I used to write a lot of parodies.  We got to talking about Bob Dylan and his nasally singing voice (no offense to Dylan or his fans - I’m a big fan of Bob Dylan’s also) so I thought I’d write this parody poking fun at Bob Dylan’s voice.

SINGING THROUGH MY NOSE

VERSE:
Ma, take this mic away from me
I can’t sing this anymore
It’s getting hard, too hard to sing
I think I’m singing through my nose!


CHORUS:
Sing, sing, singing through my nose
Sing, sing, singing through my nose
Sing, sing, singing through my nose


VERSE:
Ma, put my guitar in the ground
I can’t keep the beat anymore
That big black anvil is coming down
I think I’m singing through my nose!


CHORUS

Wednesday, November 20, 2002

Livin’ Here In Harrison (parody of “Sweet Home Alabama” by Lynyrd Skynyrd)

 


(VERSE 1:)
Boredom is seekin' in
Sunday all spent to see my kin
Hearin' songs about depression
I miss Phoenix once again
And I think it's a sin, yes!

Well I heard why some people move here
Well, I heard to get away from the city
Well, I hope they all will remember
A city man don't need to be here anyhow

(CHORUS:)
Livin' here in Harrison
Where the stores close at five
Livin' here in Harrison
Where there's nothing at all to do!

(VERSE 2:)
At Wal-Mart we all go hang out
There ain't nothing else here to do, boo hoo hoo
Leavin' here does not bother me,
Does me leavin' bother you?
Tell the truth!

(CHORUS:)
Livin' here in Harrison
Where hillbillies live
Livin' here in Harrison
Where there's cars up on blocks!

(RAP:)
Yo, Yo, Yo
I'm livin' here in harrison -
not a place to have any fun.
So many people around here own guns and they go hunt.

This town so boring,
That I spend every morning sittin' at home
And never answering the phone.


This town causes so much depression,
it makes a person go in regrettion.
And you see a lot of 100 year old traditions!
And a lot of redneck and hillbilly additions!
And a lot of confederatism
and a little bit of unneccessary racism!

This town don't go with the times,
Why do you think ever place closes at 5?
And makes Wal-Mart the only place open?
And I see a bunch of cowboys ropin'?
Nothing to do, so I'm just lophin' around!
not ever bein' proud to live here,
I gotta get out!
So sick and tired of livin' here in boredom land!

(CHORUS 2X)

Saturday, November 9, 2002

Lost

UNHAPPY.  WITHOUT A SOUL.
LIFE IS IN MISERY.
WHAT AM I TO DO.  I DON’T KNOW.

I WAS PUT HERE TO BE EVERYONE’S PUNCHING BAG.
I WAS PUT HERE SO PEOPLE CAN HAVE SOMEONE TO
   HATE ON.

THE ONLY LOVE I HAVE IS MY MUSIC. 
AIN’T GOT NO WIFE, NO GIRL.  JUST MUSIC.
THE ONLY THING I REALLY CARE FOR.

NO FATHER FIGURE –
DAD WANTS ME TO BE HAPPY, BUT HE WANTS ME TO STAY
   HERE,
SO HE WON’T HELP ME GO WHERE I WANNA GO!
HE WON’T EVEN ENCOURAGE ME TO BE WHAT I WANNA BE!
AND WHEN I TELL HIM ISSUES, HE BLAMES IT ON ME!
IT’S NOT MY FAULT I GOT THESE PROBLEMS.
THE FAULT IS WHAT HAPPENED AROUND ME IN MY LIFE.
TESTS TO STUDY FOR, HE NEVER WANTED TO HELP.
ACTING LIKE I COULD DO IT MYSELF.

AIN’T GOT NO FRIENDS.
PEOPLE SEE ME, HEAR I’M MISERABLE AND NONE EVER
    INVITE ME TO DO STUFF!
I SEE THAT SOME PEOPLE JUST LIKE TO GIVE ME A DIRTY
   LOOK LIKE I’M DOING SOMETHING WRONG.
GIVE ME A LOOK OF DISGUST AS IF I’M NOT LIKED BY THEM.
THEY STRIKE CONVOS WITH OTHERS YET SEE ME AND THEY
   LEAVE.
WHY IS ALL THIS SHIT HAPPENING TO ME?

TRY TO RESPECT AND LIKE AUTHORITY. 
BUT IT’S SO VERY HARD.
95% OF THEM TREATED ME LIKE I’M A CRIMINAL.
SEE ME DOIN’ MY THANG AND JUST HARASS ME!
BE DOIN’ MY JOB, AND ONE WOULD TREAT ME LIKE I AIN’T.
TELLIN’ ME I SPEND ALL NIGHT TALKIN’ AND NOT WORKIN’!
TELLIN’ ME I AIN’T DOIN’ MY JOB AS GOOD AS I CAN WHEN I
   AM!
EXPECTIN’ ME TO BE LIKE SUPERMAN AND HAVIN’ IT 200%
   CLEAN, WHEN I CAN’T!
TELLIN’ ME HOW TO DO THINGS, WHEN I ALREADY KNOW
   HOW TO DO IT!
BLAMIN’ ME FOR THINGS I AIN’T NEVER HAD DONE
SEARCHIN’ MY BAG FOR WEAPONS WHEN ALL I EVER
   OWNED IS A BUTTER KNIFE.
IF NUN’YA AIN’T GONNA BE NICE, WHY CAN’T YOU JUST
   LEAVE ME ALONE?

TRIED TO CHANGE MY LIFESTYLE AND ATTITUDE FOR YOU
   PEOPLE.
AND YOU STUPID FUCKERS NEVER NOTICE!
WHAT’S A PERSON GOTTA DO TO BE LIKED IN THIS WORLD?
WHAT’S A PERSON GOTTA DO TO FIT INTO THIS WORLD?

WHY DON’T YOU ALL JUST OPEN YOUR EYES AND SEE WHY I
    AM WHO I AM,
QUIT IGNORIN’ ME AND LET ME IN
BECAUSE I’M SICK OF BEIN’ LEFT OUT OF THIS WORLD!
SICK OF BEIN’ ALL ALONE IN THIS WORLD!

BUT BECAUSE OF THE WAY YOU ALL TREAT ME,
I AIN’T GETTIN’ WHAT I NEED
SO MUSIC IS ALL I HAVE.
MUSIC NOW GIVES ME WHAT I NEED
MUSIC MAKES ME FEEL FREE!

Friday, November 8, 2002

You’re In Trouble

Oh-oh-oh-oh!

(Chorus:)You're in trouble,
you don't know what to do!
You're in trouble,
he's comin' after you!
You're in trouble,
oh!
You're in trouble!

You're just walkin' down the street doin' nothin'
he comes up to you and says,
"help me!" But you say, "Not me!"
Then he pulls you
and you're kidnapped!
Oh!

(Chorus)

And then he pulls a gun on you and says,
"Do as I say and you won't get hurt!"
You feel like callin' your mother
but they won't let you,
oh you!

You feel like callin' the cops
but they won't let you,
oh you!
Because

(Chorus)

So just remember your code
or you'll go in the wrong place
then say goodbye to your life
because then you would die
because you are in trouble!
(Chorus 3x)

You're in trouble, oh trouble!
Yes in trouble, be in trouble!
Nothing but trouble, in trouble!
Oh trouble!
You're in trouble!

Wednesday, November 6, 2002

CRAP AT WALMART

 

CRAZY INSANE?
OR INSANE CRAZY?
YOU SAY I’M LAZY
BUT YOU JUST CRAZY
YOU THE ONE LAZY!
BETTER YET, YOU JUST INSANE!

THE ONLY WAY I STAY SANE IS MY MUSIC.
THE ONLY THING A FEW GET.
THIS RAP MAY BE CRAP, BUT I SPEAK THE TRUTH.
WHILE ALL YOU FOOLS HATIN’ ON ME, HOLLERIN’, “TRUCE,
     TRUCE!”
BUT I AIN’T BOUND TO SIGN NO FUCKIN’ TREATY, WHY?
BECAUSE ALL YOU MOTHER FUCKERS ARE ALL JUST
      GREEDY!
WISH LIFE HERE WAS LIKE A HOLOGRAM, AND JUST IN 3D!
I FEEL LIKE I’M IN JAIL 24-7
WON’T SOMEBODY PLEASE RELEASE ME?
PLEASE FREE ME!

WALMART, DON’T YOU START
YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT WHAT CARTS I LEAVE.
PLEASE!
YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT WHAT TRASH I LEAVE.
BETTER WATCH OUT, YOU AIN’T GOT A CLUE WHAT’S
     HIDDEN UP MY SLEEVE!

I KNOW BETTER.
I LEAST KNOW YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT EVERYTHING,
   ANYTHING.
FOOLS BETTER BE LUCKY I DON’T SING.
AND WHEN I SCREAM, I’LL MAKE YOU DEAF
AND THAN MAKE YOU CONFESS THAT THE LOT ISN’T
    THAT BAD.
I THINK IT’S SAD.
YOUR BRAIN THINKS THE WAY IT DO!
YOU MAKE ME SO MAD.
THINK I’MA STICK YOUR HEAD TO THE WALL WITH SUPER-
      GLU!

YOU SAY I’M LAZY
BUT YOU JUST INSANE
YOU MIGHT THINK I’M CRAZY
BUT I’M JUST INSANE TRYIN’ TO STAY SANE

I BE STANDIN’ BY THE DAMN DOOR
AND I BE GETTIN’ SO DAMN BORED
WHAT AM I HERE FOR?
I’M JUST STAYIN’ POOR!

AIN’T NO WAY NOBODY SHOULD BE REPPIN’ THE W.M.T!
I HAVTA GO PEE,
THINK I’LL GO ON THE STORE’S FLOOR!

YOU MAY SAY I’M CRAZY
YOU MAY SAY I’M INSANE
NO, I’M INSANE CRAZY, CRAZY INSANE
JUST TRYIN’ TO STAY SANE
BUT IT AIN’T HAPPENIN’
AND I JUST SLAPPED MR. PHIPPS AGAINS!
OH, HERE COMES LARRY, NEED TO SHUT MY TRAP AGAIN!
THANK GOD THESE TWO AIN’T MY KIN!

YOU MAY PLAY THIS RECORD ON YOUR STEREO
YOU MAY RECOGNIZE THE STYLE
YES IT’S A SONG INFLUENCED BY EMINEM,
NO I DON’T MEAN THE CANDY,
I MEAN THE RAPPER, G!
SOMEDAY I HOPE TO GET AWAY FROM THE W.M.T
     AND BE BIGGER THAN HE!

(WALMART’S GONNA SUE ME!)

Sunday, November 3, 2002

LOVESTRUCK (BUT HAS NO ONE TO LOVE)

 

I DON’T KNOW YOU.
I NEVER HAVE.
I NEVER MET YOU BEFORE.
I WISH I HAD.
SINCE I HAVEN’T FOUND YOU YET,
I’M SAD.
ONE OF THE MAIN REASON I’VE BEEN FEELIN’ MAD!

I’M ALWAYS SEEIN’ COUPLES,
IT MAKES ME UPSET.
NOT HAVING NO GIRLS EVER MAKES ME FORM TEARS!

WHERE IS SHE?
THE ONE FOR ME.
WHERE IS SHE?
SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME!

I DON’T KNOW ANY GIRL WHO LIKES ME.
WHY NOT?
WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME?
HOW CAN I LIKE MYSELF WHEN NO ONE ELSE DOES?
IT’S WHY I’M CONSTANTLY CHANGING MY STYLE,
CONSTANTLY CHANGING MY WAYS,
THINKING TO MYSELF, “IT’LL BE HOW THE GIRLS WOULD PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME.”
BUT I AIN’T GETTIN’ NO ATTENTION AT ALL!
GETTIN’ NO ATTENTION FROM NO ONE!

ALL I GET IS LOOKS OF HATE.
LOOKS OF DISGUST.
ALL I GET IS GIRLS BEING RUDE.
BEING SNOBBISH, NEVER NICE.

I NEVER SEE A GIRL WHO LIKES ME.
NONE NEVER SHOW IT.
IF A GIRL LIKED ME, WOULDN’T THEY LET ME KNOW IT?

MAYBE SOMEDAY I’LL FIND YOU.
I HOPE SOMEDAY SOON.
WHEN WILL I FIND YOU?
I JUST WISH THAT I KNEW!

LOST, LONELY, CONFUSED (DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO)

 


THEY SAY THERE’S SOMEONE OUT THERE FOR EVERYBODY
WHERE IS SHE?

WHY DO I FEEL SO ALONE
IN THIS MIXED UP WORLD?

IN MY MIND, FEEL I CHEATED LOVE TWICE OR 3 TIMES
DID I REALLY?

WERE THEY JUST FRIENDS?
OR DID THEY REALLY WANT TO TAKE IT FURTHER?

NEVER KNEW MANY GIRLS,
AND THE ONES I KNEW I ALWAYS HAD A CRUSH ON
(DON’T ASK ME WHY)

I GUESS ‘CAUSE I DON’T AND NEVER HAD ANYONE,
AND I WANT SOMEONE!
IT’S ALL I EVER THINK ABOUT THESE DAYS!

I PRAY MAYBE SOMEDAY THAT I MAY FIND HER.
I DON’T KNOW WHERE.
I DON’T KNOW WHEN.
SHOULD I GO BACK TO THE GIRLS IN MY PAST,
OR FIND THOSE IN MY FUTURE?

JUST DON’T KNOW HOW SHOULD I BE FEELING.
NEVER HAPPY, ALWAYS GLOOMY.

MIND IS SO MESSED UP
SO IS MY LIFE

WHAT TO DO.
WHAT SHOULD I DO?
MY GOD, I’M SO CONFUSED!

SO LOST, LONELY, AND CONFUSED
I JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!

LONER’S WORLD

 

EVERY DAY, ALL ALONE
EVERY DAY, NO ONE AROUND
EVERY DAY, BY MYSELF

THE ONLY PERSON I HANG OUT WITH IS MY OWN SHADOW!

NOBODY TO LOVE,
NO ONE TO CARE FOR.
JUST SPENDING MY LIFE CARING FOR MYSELF.

ALL THOSE DAMN CLIQUES FORCE ME TO SIT BY MYSELF
ALL THESE DAMN CLIQUES FORCE ME TO BE ALONE

NOT MANY TO HAVE A DECENT CONVO WITH,
SO I JUST CONVO WITH MYSLEF.

SPENDING MY LIFE JUST CONVERSATIN’ WITH THOSE A GEN
      OR TWO OLDER!

LIKE TO PARTY,
END UP PARTYING BY MYSELF.
LOVE MOVIES,
DON’T EVER GO TO THE THEATER BECAUSE I DON’T WANT
      TO BY MYSELF.
LOVE MUSIC,
END UP ENJOYING IT BY MYSELF!

I HEAR ABOUT PARTIES ALL THE TIME,
AND THEY JUST PASS ME BY WITHOUT INVITIN’ ME!
HEY, IT’S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS!

LEARNING HOW TO DRIVE AIN’T GONNA HELP
I REFUSE TO GO PLACES WITHOUT THE COMPANY
SO I’LL STILL END UP STAYING HOME!


DYING TO MEET PEOPLE MY OWN AGE,
BUT NONE WANT A THING TO DO WITH ME,
AND NONE HARDLY KNOW ME AT ALL!

EVERY DAY, NO ONE AROUND EXCEPT FOR ME AND MY
      SHADOW!

DEPRESSED, MISERABLE, ANGRY AS HELL.
HOW ELSE SHOULD I FEEL WHEN I AIN’T GETTING’ WHAT
    I DISERVE, WHAT I NEED?

I WAS FORCED INTO THIS DAMNED LONER’S WORLD,
AND IT AIN’T HEALTHY FOR ME.
UNHAPPY, MISERABLE, DEPRESSED!

I WANT OUT OF THIS LONER’S WORLD!

SOMEONE GET ME OUT!

Wednesday, September 25, 2002

TIRED PART 2

 

TIRED OF NOT BEING FINANCIALLY STABLE

TIRED OF WORKING FROM PAYCHECK TO PAYCHECK NEVER MAKING ENOUGH TO SAVE

TIRED OF BEING SO POOR I’M STUCK HERE WHERE I CAN’T MEET PEOPLE AND DON’T KNOW ANYONE IF THEY DON’T WORK AT WAL-MART

TIRED OF BEING BROKE

TIRED OF NEVER HAVING MONEY SO I CAN MOVE

TIRED OF WANTING TO JUST SLEEP BECAUSE OF NOTHING ELSE BETTER TO DO ALWAYS ALONE, SO WHY SHOULD I CARE?

TIRED OF NOT HAVING GONE ANYWHERE IN MY MUSIC CAREER

TIRED OF BEING POOR

TIRED OF THE ONLY SOCIAL LIFE I GET IS ONLINE

TIRED OF ALWAYS TRYING TO HAVE FUN ALONE

TIRED OF GETTING DRUNK BUT I GOT NOTHING ELSE BETTER TO DO

TIRED OF WORKING DAY BY DAY NEVER GETTING NO WHERE I SHOULD BE

TIRED OF NEVER HAVING ANY FUN

TIRED OF NEVER BEING IN LOVE

TIRED OF MUSIC BEING THE ONLY THING KEEPING ME ALIVE

TIRED OF MUSIC AND TV BEING THE ONLY THING TO KEEP ME FROM SUICIDE

TIRED OF NOT HAVING A LIFE

TIRED OF BEING IGNORED BY 95% OF THE PEOPLE I SEE

TIRED OF HAVING A PHONE WHEN ONLY PHONE SOLICITORS CALL

TIRED OF PLAYING MUSIC THAT NO ONE HEARS

TIRED OF LIVING IN HARRISON, ARKANSAS, WHERE THE ONLY THING THERE IS TO DO IS GO TO WAL-MART

TIRED OF PEOPLE GIVING ME A DIRTY LOOK WHEN THEY DON’T EVEN KNOW ME

TIRED OF PEOPLE NOT INVITING ME ANYWHERE BECAUSE THEY CAN’T STAND ME WHEN THEY GOT NO REASON TO HATE ME

TIRED OF DOING EVERYTHING BY MYSELF

TIRED OF MY PARENTS NOT WANTING TO HELP, THEY CLAIM THEY WILL BUT THEY WON’T

(THEY ARE ONE REASON I HAVEN’T TRIED TO TAKE THE WRITTEN TEST FOR DRIVER’S LICENSE IN SO LONG, THEY SAY THEY’D HELP ME STUDY, I FELL FOR IT TWICE.  NEVER AGAIN!)

PEOPLE OFFER TO HELP ME STUDY BUT I AIN’T GOT TIME TO DO THAT AT WORK!

TIRED OF LIVING IN THIS LONER’S WORLD

TIRED OF DISAGREEMENT OF MY LIFESTYLE 100%

TIRED OF THE ONLY FRIENDS I GOT NOT HAVING ANY TIME FOR ME

TIRED OF ALWAYS BEING SO PISSED AND MISERABLE BECAUSE OF THE SITUATION I’M LIVING IN

TIRED OF ALWAYS COMPLAININ’ BUT I AIN’T HAD A REASON TO BE HAPPY

TIRED OF NEVER BEING HAPPY

TIRED OF BEING PISSED AT THIS WORLD

TIRED OF LIVING SUCH A MISERABLE LIFE

TIRED OF PEOPLE COMMITTING CRIMES AGAINST ME, NEXT THING I KNOW SOMEONE MAY KILL ME

TIRED OF LIVING UNHAPPY

TIRED OF LIVING PERIOD

TIRED OF LIVING MISERABLE

TIRED OF LIVING

BETTER OFF DEAD

HOW WOULD A PERSON NOT SUICIDAL COMMIT IT?

TIRED OF NO ONE TRYING TO HELP ME MUCH

TIRED OF THE GIRLS NEVER TAKING AN INTEREST IN ME BECAUSE OF THE WAY I LOOK

TIRED OF THE GIRLS NOT BEING INTERESTED BECAUSE THEY DON’T KNOW ME

TIRED OF PEOPLE NEVER GETTING TO KNOW ME SO THEY JUST IGNORE ME INSTEAD

TIRED OF BEING CALLED GAY OR QUEER WHEN I’M 100% STRAIGHT, ONLY DIFFERENCE IS I’M NOT LIKE MOST GUYS

TIRED OF PLAYING MY GUITAR AND NEVER GOING ANYWHERE WITH IT

TIRED OF NOT HAVING ANYONE TO GO TO FOR HELP THAT CAN HELP ME

TIRED OF HAVING TO GO HOME AFTER WORK AND STAYING HOME ON MY DAYS OFF

TIRED OF NEVER MEETING NOBODY

WANTING TO MOVE BACK TO PHOENIX, BUT HOW COULD I?  I’M TOO DAMN BROKE!

TIRED OF NOT PLAYING ANY GIGS

TIRED OF COMMITTING SINS (BUT IT’S THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS ME AWAY FROM BOREDOM’S WAY)

TIRED OF NOT HAVING TRUST IN GOD (I GAVE HIM A CHANCE THE 4 YEARS I LIVED IN FT. SMITH, AND MY PROBLEMS JUST GOT WORSE MOVING HERE).  HE SHOULD HELP WHEN A PERSON ASKS FOR HELP, NOT MAKE THEM WAIT.  IT’S WHY SO MANY TURN TO SUICIDE

WISH I COULD GO BACK IN TIME AND START OVER, BUT I CAN’T.

TIRED OF HAVING A DAILY SCHEDULE THAT NEVER CHANGES

TIRED OF KNOWING WHAT I’M DOING TOMORROW BECAUSE I KNOW IT’S THE SAME THING I’M DOING TODAY AND EVERY DAY.

TIRED OF WORRYING AND WONDERING WHERE MY LIFE IS HEADED

TIRED OF KNOWING HOW HATEFUL I MAY BE IN MY 50s

TIRED OF GIRLS DOING THINGS TO MAKE ME THINK THEY’D LIKE TO HAVE ME AS A BOYFRIEND, BUT REALLY THEY DON’T

TIRED OF GIRLS MESSING WITH MY MIND

TIRED OF PEOPLE LOOKING AT ME LIKE I DIDN’T GET A JOKE BECAUSE THEY HAD TO REPEAT IT, AND THAN CALLING ME, “STUPID.” SAYING, “I DIDN’T GET IT” WHEN REALLY I DID

TIRED OF WRITING SUCH DEPRESSING AND MISERABLE POEMS AND SONGS

TIRED OF KNOWING THAT MY SONGS AND POEMS WON’T GET ME A #1 HIT

TIRED OF NEVER BEING INVITED TO PARTIES

TIRED OF TELLING CUSTOMERS THAT I GREET, “I’D BE BETTER IF I WERE SOMEWHERE ELSE!”  BUT IT’S THE TRUTH

TIRED OF NEVER HAVING A GIRL AROUND TO BE IN LOVE WITH

TIRED OF BEING A LONER, I DON’T AGREE WITH IT

TIRED OF GOING TO WORK AND JUST COMPLAININ’ ABOUT EVERYTHING

TIRED OF NOT BEING LIKED BY MANY

TIRED OF MISSING OUT ON EVENTS IN MY LIFE (WHAT EVENTS?  THERE AREN’T ANY)

TIRED OF ALWAYS WEARING A FROWN BECAUSE I’M NEVER HAPPY

TIRED OF PEOPLE ALWAYS BUGGIN’

TIRED OF NEVER TRUSTING ANYONE

TIRED OF BEING IN MENTAL PAIN

TIRED OF HARDLY SMILING

TIRED OF MY PARENTS THINKING I’M GAY BECAUSE I DON’T AND NEVER HAD A GIRLFRIEND.  HOW COULD I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND IN THE FIRST PLACE IF NO GIRL SEEMS INTERESTED, AND LOOK AWAY INSTEAD?

TIRED OF MY PARENTS MAKING FUN OF ME BECAUSE OF MY CHOICE OF CLOTHES

TIRED OF MY DAD MAKING RUDE COMMENTS BECAUSE OF MY GOALS IN LIFE WEREN’T LIKE HIS

TIRED OF MY PARENTS MAKING RUDE AND STUPID COMMENTS WHEN I TELL THEM PERSONAL STUFF, WHICH IS WHY I NEVER TELL THEM

TIRED OF CELEBRATING THE HOLIDAYS.  WHAT’S THE POINT?  CHRISTMAS IS JUST SPENT AROUND FAMILY MEMBERS I CAN’T STAND, BIRTHDAYS I SPEND BY MYSELF NO BIRTHDAY PARTY SET UP FOR ME, VALENTINE’S DAY, NO ONE I LOVE LIKE THAT SO WHAT’S THE POINT TO CELEBRATE?  DESTROY ALL THE HEARTS, ROSES, AND LOVEY-DOVEY CRAP!  EASTER IS JUST ANOTHER REGULAR SUNDAY.  JUST ANOTHER DAY TO BE HATEFUL.

TIRED OF JUST BEING THIS MISERABLE

TIRED OF LIVING IN A TOWN WHERE THE ONLY WAY TO MEET PEOPLE IS AT WORK, SCHOOL, OR CHURCH WHEN I JUST GO TO WORK

TIRED OF NO ONE WANTING TO HANG WITH ME, WHEN I AM A COOL PERSON TO HANG OUT WITH TOO

TIRED OF GIRLS NEVER WANTING TO MEET ME, WHEN I AM AN INTERESTING GUY TO BE AROUND.

GUESS I’M JUST TOO DAMN TIRED.  WHEN WILL IT END?  SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE IT END!

Tuesday, September 24, 2002

DEPRESSION PART 2

TIRED OF BEING ALONE
TIRED OF SPENDING ALL MY DAYS BY MYSELF

IF I KEEP GOING THIS ROUTE I’M LIABLE TO HANG MYSELF

ALWAYS MISERABLE
ALWAYS DEPRESSED
MY LIFE IS SUCH A MESS

I FEEL THAT I JUST GOT TO PROTEST AGAINST THOSE WHO WANT TO IGNORE ME, WHO WANT TO HATE ME

NOWHERE TO GO SO I JUST GO HOME AND STAY IN MY OWN ZONE
WHEN THE PHONE RINGS, IT’S ALWAYS THOSE DAMN SOLICITORS
WHEN SOMEONE KNOCKS ON MY DAMN DOOR,
IT’S ALWAYS THOSE DAMN SOLICITORS!

NO ONE TO TALK TO
SO I JUST TALK TO MYSELF

EVERY DAY I SIT AND I CRY WONDERING WHEN WILL IT EVER CHANGE?
HATE MY LIFE!
FEEL I JUST WANT TO DIE
BUT I DON’T WANNA TURN TO SUICIDE FOR MY ANSWERS
BUT WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?
I GET SO DAMN CONFUSED!

NO ONE TO HARDLY HAVE A DECENT CONVO WITH, JUST “HI AND BYE”

I’LL ADMIT TO NOT CONVERSIN’ MUCH WHEN GIVEN A CHANCE BUT I NEVER CAN THINK OF STUFF TO KEEP A LONG CONVO WITH AND I DON’T WANNA STAND AROUND ACTIN’ A FOOL, WHAT’S A PERSON TO DO?

I PLAY MUSIC, BUT NO ONE EVER COMES OVER TO HEAR, SO I JUDGE MY SOUND MYSELF

IT AIN’T FAIR
OTHERS GOT PEOPLE AROUND A LOT
BUT IF I’M NOT AT WORK, I’M BY MYSELF

PISSED AT IT, SICK OF IT
TELL ME WHAT SHOULD I DO TO CHANGE THIS?

Saturday, September 21, 2002

WHERE’S MY LIFE BEEN?

 

WHERE’S MY LIFE BEEN?
WHERE IS IT GOING?
BORN IN 1980,
NOW I’M 22
TRYIN’ NOT TO REMEMBER ’89 TO ‘92
BUT IT’S HARD TO
WHEN THAT’S AS FAR BACK AS I CAN REMEMBER

WAS TORTURED GROWING UP AS A KID
KIDS DIDN’T KNOW OR UNDERSTAND ME
SO THEY JUST REJECTED ME
TRIED TO BAN ME
SHAPING ME THE WAY I BECAME TODAY

VERY SHY, VERY QUIET, NOT EASY TO MEET PEOPLE, NON-QUIET AROUND THOSE I KNOW
NEVER EASY FOR ME TO MEET PEOPLE,
ALWAYS HARD FOR ME.
NO MATTER HOW HARD I CHANGE MY WAYS OF SOCIALIZATION, MY PROBLEMS OF PEERS IN THE PAST JUST COME BACK TO HAUNT ME.
HOW SAD!

NEVER BEEN IN LOVE BEFORE
AND WILL I EVER?
DAYS GOING BY TOO FAST,
WISH THEY’D JUST SLOW DOWN
BECAUSE MY LIFE IS JUST PASSIN’ ME BY
MY LIFE IS BEIN WASTED AS WE SPEAK.
NEVER HAPPY, ALWAYS SAD.
NEED TO CHANGE IT BUT I WISH I KNEW HOW
22 YEARS OLD AND NOWHERE I’M S’POSED TO BE
WHAT A LIFE I LIVE!

TOO MUCH TIME SPENT AT HOME ALONE

 

THIS IS BAD –
IT’S ENOUGH TO MAKE ME FEEL EVEN WORSE
IT’S ENOUGH TO MAKE ME FEEL EVEN MORE DEPRESSED,
I’M FED UP!

THERE’S 168 HOURS IN A WEEK
40 SPENT AT WORK, 6 SPENT AT PARENTS’
THE OTHER 122 IS SPENT AT HOME ALONE
WHAT’S THE PURPOSE IN ME EVEN HAVING A PHONE?

SO LONELY
ALWAYS BY MYSELF
WHAT AM I TO DO?
BECAUSE OF THIS I FEEL SO UNCOOL
I KNOW I AIN’T DULL BUT I FEEL MY LIFE IS
BECAUSE HARDLY ANYONE PAY ATTENTION TO ME LIKE THEY SHOULD.

SICK OF ALWAYS BEING ALONE
I’M JUST GETTING WORSE BY THE WEEK
BETTER OFF TOO MOVE – BUT I’M TOO DAMN BROKE
WHAT ELSE IS THERE FOR ME TO DO?

BORED

ALWAYS ALL ALONE

NO ONE TO BE AROUND

I’D RATHER BE SOMEWHERE ELSE

NEVER HAPPY

ALWAYS SAD

NEVER GLAD

ALWAYS MAD

ALWAYS ALL DEPRESSED

NO ONE TO HANG AROUND

I’D RATHER BE IN ANOTHER PLACE

NEVER HAPPY

ALWAYS SAD

NEVER GLAD

ALWAYS MAD

ALWAYS MISERABLE

NO ONE IS EVER AROUND

RATHER BE IN ANOTHER PLACE

ALWAYS SAD

ALWAYS MISERABLE

ALWAYS DEPRESSED

ALWAYS LONELY

Friday, September 20, 2002

QUIT GRIPING AT THE 3RD SHIFT PEOPLE GREETER

 

WHAT’S THIS PLACE’S PROBLEM?
OVERNIGHT BY THE DOOR, WHAT’S THERE TO DO?
NO ONE COMES IN.
NO ONE GOES OUT!

CAN’T SIT,
CAN’T READ
CAN’T DO NOTHIN’ WITHOUT SOMEONE GETTIN’ RUDE OVER IT!

I GREET ALL THE CUSTOMERS.
I GREET ALL THE PEOPLE THAT GO THROUGH THE DOORS.
SO WHY SHOULD IT MATTER?

THEY EXPECT YOU TO JUST WALK UP AND DOWN THE CARPET DOING NOTHING BUT LOOKIN’ LIKE A FOOL!

WASH WINDOWS?
THEY DON’T PAY ME ENOUGH TO BE A JANITOR! 
I’M NOT PAID ENOUGH TO DO SOMEONE ELSE’S JOB,
I’M NOT PAID ENOUGH TO EVEN HELP THOSE WHO JUST IGNORE ME!

I’M PAID TO WATCH THE DOOR, PUSH CARTS, AND PICK UP TRASH
(NOT EVEN PAID ENOUGH TO DO THAT)
I AT LEAST DO MY JOB AND MAKE SURE IT’S DONE BY 6:30
SO WHY CAN’T THEY LEAVE ME ALONE,
AND STOP BUGGIN’?

Thursday, September 19, 2002

REJECTED PART 2

 

MY LIFE –
GO HOME, SLEEP, GO TO WORK
THAT’S MY EVERY DAY ROUTINE.

DON’T GOT A SOCIAL LIFE
UNLESS I GO ONLINE
WHY ARE PEOPLE SO MEAN?

THEY AREN’T HATEFUL,
THEY JUST LIKE TO IGNORE YOU.
YOU’RE NOT PART OF THERE CLIQUE SO THEY REJECT YOU.

SO I HARDLY HAVE ANYBODY TO HANG WITH, IF SO NOT EVEN TWO.

THERE’S ONE GIRL I LIKE HERE,
BUT I DON’T THINK SHE LIKES ME THAT WAY, CAN’T ASK HER, ‘FRAID I’D GET REJECTED ONCE MORE!

THE ONLY GIRL I KNOW WHO LIKES ME THAT WAY
(I LIKE HER TOO)
LIVES IN PHOENIX, AND THERE’S NO TELLING WHEN I BE ABLE TO GO BACK THERE.

WHEN I DRINK, I DRINK ALONE
NO ONE ELSE WILL DRINK WITH ME.
WHAT’S THE POINT, WHAT’S THE USE?
I DRINK EVERY DAY, BUT WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO DO?
SO I DRINK TO ESCAPE FROM BOREDOM

SPEND EVERY DAY BY MYSELF
WATCH MOVIES BY MYSELF
ENJOY MUSIC BY MYSELF
PLAY MUSIC FOR MYSELF
HOW CAN A PERSON ENJOY LIFE WHEN THEY ALWAYS SPENDING IT BY THEMSELVES?

EVERY DAY I FEEL REJECTED.
I FEEL NO ONE REALLY WANTS TO BE AROUND ME, OR ME AROUND THEM.
THEY WALK BY AND JUST IGNORE MY ASS LIKE I DON’T EXIST OR SUMTHIN’.
NO WONDER I FEEL SO REJECTED.

AND IF THEY REALLY WANNA BE MY FRIEND THEY AIN’T TRYIN’ HARD ENOUGH SO I JUST START FEELING REJECTED.