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Thursday, April 2, 1998

(I LIVE IN A) 2 STORIED CARDBOARD BOX

(note: this is another joke I wrote)

 

One day I passed an old shack
with a sign in front of it saying
"Shack Records, record all you want for a buck."
So I decided to go on in
and try out my crappy sound.
So I went on in, put on the fallin' apart headphones
and I came up with this song.

(verse:)
All I could afford is a buck
so I can't even buy a duck
unless it's rubber!
I have a job on the street,
and my feet have no shoes!
Every time I'm finished on the
street, I go home to a

(chorus:)
2 story cardboard box!
Yes, I live in a 2 storied cardboard box!

(verse:)
It's wallpaper is toilet paper,
it's skylight is a little piece of glass,
it's front door is a door I ripped off that Ford Pinto
that rammed into my 2 story cardboard box
just the other day!

(Chorus)

(verse:)
I drive a store cart
with a cardboard sign on it that says,
"This is a Ferarri, don't touch it!"
Every day I drive it home
to my 2 story cardboard box!
(Chorus)

(verse:)
Now the 1st story is
when you're sitting down
the 2nd is when you're standing in my little
2 story cardboard box
decorated in toilet paper
with the store cart parked in the
collapsable garage, to drive later,
oh yes!

(Chorus)

So don't feel sorry for me
let me do it myself!

(Chorus)

(A DAY IN THE LIFE) OF A PICKED ON KID

 

(note: this is another joke I wrote.  I wrote it during my days I used to work at Harp’s)

At 6 my clock goes off!
I wake up, take a bath, get dressed
and nothing else!
I sit around staring out the window
for the next hour!
I'd then walk to school with 5 bags!
1 named George, 'nother named Bob, 3rd named Fred, 4th named Billy, 5th named Drop Dead Fred!
I got to school!
I hear people laughing at me behind my back!
I don't care!
I'm such a dwork,
People pick on me!
At 6 I go to work,
you know who I am, who are you?
I'm a courtesy clerk, you know that!
So you purposely make a mess & I'd have to clean it!
I'm busy dang it!
I'm tryin' to stock bread
leave me alone!
You just take all the carts to make me mad
now I'll have to bust you!
No punks allowed in this store!
you piss all over both the bathrooms, so guess what I do now?
I have to clean the bathrooms!
QUIT PICKING ON ME!
I suck at everything
YOU HATE ME!
I make you mad purposely because
YOU CAN'T STAND ME!
I'm movin' to a different town man,
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T STAND ME!