STOP THE SCHOOL VIOLENCE

 

Note: Over the last 10 years there have been a lot of mass public shootings.  but by 1999, there were at least 10 mass school shootings - the one at Columbine High School in Littleton, COlorado on April 20, 1999 being the worst one at the time.  This song I wrote after that incident expressing how I felt about all the mass school shootings I was hearing about at that time.

(Chorus)
How cruel!
Too much violence in our schools!
How uncool!
What such fools,
To cause such violence in our schools!!

(Verse 1)
In the last two years we had to fear!
It seems like these people don't even care!
How unfair!
It seems like they're always a pair!
Oh, dear!
It seems like the end is always near!
I'm forming tears
I'm so sad
Because what they did is so bad!

(Chorus)

(Verse 2)
It happened in Arkansas, Oregon, and Colorado,
Oh wow!
Our nation is going down!
We will all drown
In pain and sorrow!
Our schools are horrible!

(Bridge:)
So many people
It happened to!
Happened to
So many people!
(repeat)

(Chorus)

(Verse 3)
Dear God,
Why did this have to happen
In your world under heaven?
Dear God,
These people don't celebrate the sabbath
And they aren't very clever!
Will they ever realize that what they did was wrong?
Will they ever realize who they killed?
Will they ever feel the way we feel?
The school victims got such a raw deal!

Funny Jokes

I wrote these jokes back in 1999 when I was still in high school and immature.  I read them again about 13 years later (in 2013) and realize some of the ones referring to historical events probably aren’t even accurate, since I learned more about those events as I got older, lol. I apologize in advance  if these jokes might offend anybody who eventually reads this post.  I post a lot of older stuff on my blog for posterity and for others to enjoy, but it doesn’t necessarily say that’s how I act or believe anymore as I get older.  Enjoy!

 

Mr. Robinson (Eddie Murphy) Walks in his apartment and talks about today's episode. "Hello boys & girls, today we're gonna learn how to go down chimneys dressed like Santa Claus and put wrapped up dog shit under the christmas tree, and how to put crack, pot, LSD, Shrooms, cigarettes, alcohol, Poppies, and drug paraphanalia in the stockings, then after that we'll learn how to raid the food in the fridge and take some radios and TVs and some VCRs that aren't ours, like taking milk & cookies.

 

. The Menandez children just got there own TV show entitled: "Life With Menandez." There first episode is entitled "Hey boys and girls, hate you damn parents cause one's abusive and the other's no help? Well you're watching the right show, because today we'll show u how to kill your parents, lie about it, take your parents money and buy stuff, and then go to court 6 years later.

 

. Charles Manson is being interviewed by Ted Coppel: "I love to kill people for a living. I either shoot them or stab them. If you want to be a serial killer call this number 1-900-murder-me."

 

. Michael Jackson promoting a new song off a future album: "I'm not a faggot, it's just that I'm a sweet transvestite and love it so much, just another Ru Paul!"

 

. Jeff Foxworthy on his trademark: "If you listen to me you might be considered a redneck, if your dog is loose you're a redneck, if you're a faggot you're a damn transvestite, give me a gun so I can blow your head off!"

 

. OJ Simpson interview with Barbara Walters: "I didn't kill no one because I'm an ex-football star and so whatever I do is innocent except for when I killed Nicole and Ronald, so as long as nobody knows I'll be free, finding women and killing them."

 

. David Letterman's top 10 reasons to watch his show:

10. Because there's nothing else on

9. Because Jay Leno eats too many Doritos

8. OJ Simpson's trial is over

7. To see me smoke my cigar

6. Because I'm funny

5. You'd actually wanna watch Oprah Winfrey like Peg Bundy?

4 Arsenio Hall retired

3. I've been doing the show ever since the 1970s

2. You didn't know there was a so called show

1. If you don't I will shove a bomb up your ass and blow you away.

Stupid TV Shows

(I apologize in advance if this offends some people - this is a comedy bit I wrote back in high school in 1999)

If it's one thing I can't stand at all, it's those stupid TV shows. You know which ones I'm talking about. It's those shows with epioode titles like "My boyfriend slept with my best friend." These are the same shows which have scripts that go something like this, "You bitch!! You (beep) ing bitch!! You (beep) ing slut!! You slept with my (beep) ing Boyfriend, you (beep) ing whore!!"(Punches and kicks air)You stupid bitch!!" (pause) What really surprised me is the ratings of these stupid shows. These shows have higher ratings than NBC's ER and the WB's Dawson's Creek or 7th Heaven. The most popular one of these stupid shows (they cal1 them Daytime talk shows) is Jerry Springer. To me, in my opinion, That guys a damn nut case. He's a damn pervert!! Like I mean, who in the world ever heard of subjects like "My tits are bigger than yours!" "My son is a gay faggot" "My Husband cheated on me" (pause) yeah? So? What's your point? My Wife (beep) ing cheated on me!! I am not making this up, these subjects are actually shown on the TV screen. That show's so damn popular they put it on tape uncensored and they put it in the new-release section of the movie stores. Where it belongs is the adult section. The movies a damn porno!  I should go do a show like that.  "Today on the Mike Irvan Show we got whores who don't know who there husbands are!"

    Another type of show I can't stand is those wrestling shows. To me it looks like gay men grabbing each other. I was reading this book about Michael Jackson, and I was thinking "Good Lord!! This guy's a sick pervert pedophile!!" In this book it talks about Michael Jackson, a 40 year old man, grabbing a 12 year old boy's balls!! Michael Jackson would be a perfect wrestler. Since every "Perfect" wrestler has a nick name, Michael Jackson's would be "Bad Big Bubba." Like I mean, who wants to watch a show with guys grabbing each other? I was surprised when I saw a survey of sports most watched. I was thinking maybe football. The one with the most votes on this survey was wrestling. I was like, "Good Lord!!" I think the worst wrestler On TV is that guy who loves to flip off the camera, and his boss, and the photographer. Those of you who watch NWO Wrestling know who I'm talking about (pause) "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. This guy also makes fun of the bible. He takes one of the best versus in the bible and changes it into his own. He took John 3:16, and transformed it into "Austin 3:16". This guy's a real nutcase. What I really don't understand is why do they call wrestling a sport? It's not a sport. They go by a silly script that is written something like this: "Stone Cold grabs Bad Big Bubba, Bad Big Bubba goes 'woohoo, I'm bad', bad big bubba grabs Stone Cold by the balls, flips him over, and Bad Big Bubba wins. End of Round one".

    Another type of show I can't stand is soap operas. Those daytime talk shows remind me a lot like those stupid soaps. Only difference is is that there are no subject titles, and no audience in the soaps. Whoever heard of a show that showed nothing but a dimmed lit room in a house with a man and his wife's best friend in there saying, "You know, we oughtta quit this. one day we're gonna get caught." Of course, they always end that scene with the Man's wife coming in the room going, "Oh my god!! Honey, I want a divorce, you stupid bastard!!" You know what true story I think should become a soap? The Bill Clinton Scandal. And in the credits it would say, "Based on the book by Kenneth Starr which was based on a true story." I could see it now, Hillary Clinton walks in on Bill and Monica and goes, "Honey!! You didn't!! What would the people think!!" Bill Clinton would be like, "You Bitch!! I'm sick of your bitchy attitude!!"