Center campus a Glow

Here is the next project I had to do. It's supposed to be digital art that's related to North Arkansas College. Can what I did be considered art though? Lol. (note: the photo used is not mine, I don't know who took the picture. I just take credit for what I did to it.)

16 Inspiring Songs That Honor JFK Pictures - The Tragedy That Shattered Camelot | Rolling Stone

*After John F. Kennedy’s assasination, our country went into utter chaos.  1960s started out nice and calm until than.  I’m not a democrat, but I do like what Kennedy stood for and tried to do during his presidency: get world peace, kill poverty, create equality in all of us.  Some songs mentioned in this Rolling stone article I heard of, some I haven’t.  all I didn’t know had parts that are influenced by John Kennedy.  1960s history I always enjoyed, but some of the things that we now have because of events back then probably weren’t good ideas.  people have too much of a “if it feels good do it” mindset, and put all caution to the wind due to it, and just don’t care and have no moral boundaries.

16 Inspiring Songs That Honor JFK Pictures - The Tragedy That Shattered Camelot | Rolling Stone: "16 Inspiring Songs That Honor JFK"

On Nov. 22, 1963, the Beatles released their second album, the Beach Boys played to a record-breaking crowd in Marysville, CA, and Elvis Presley wept with gal pal Ann-Marget as they watched the shocking news on television about President John F. Kennedy's assassination.

Before that day, rock and roll was still in its happy-go-lucky infancy. After that fateful convertible ride through Dallas, the '60s became The Sixties, and a fast-maturing rock and roll would help guide the cultural and political shift waged by a generation that began to question the ways of the world. As we recognize the 50th anniversary of the day JFK was shot this week, here are some of our favorite musical nods to Kennedy and the tragedy that shattered Camelot.

Read more: http://www.rollingstone.com/music/pictures/16-inspiring-songs-that-honor-jfk-20131119#ixzz2l9zDJSP3 
Follow us: @rollingstone on Twitter | RollingStone on Facebook

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President Obama omits "under God" in gettysburg address taping

*President Obama is very misguided and needs to definitely prayed for!

‘That is an affront to the people who died there’: President Obama omits ‘under God’ from taped Gettysburg Address – Glenn Beck: "President Obama omits ‘under God"

President Obama already made headlines today for skipping the 150th anniversary ceremony of the Gettysburg Address citing a scheduling conflict, and now it looks like there is controversy surrounding his taped reading of the address.

President Obama and several other famous faces from the worlds of politics, entertainment, and business recorded versions of President Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address for a project filmmaker Ken Burns produced for PBS. But in the video that President Obama recorded, two important words appear to have been omitted from the text: Under God.

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Loyalty

My recent speech for speech class was a motivational speech.  My teacher for this assignment gave us a topic to speak about.  My topic was “loyalty.”  The following is my speech.  I  plan on eventually filming these speeches and putting them up on youtube, so be on the lookout for them.

Ha! Loyalty. I don’t want to speak about no stinking loyalty. I have no desire to speak about loyalty. I would much rather speak about something else instead. Something I’m passionate about. What can I possibly teach you about loyalty? I want to do things my way, my rules. I don’t want to be loyal to this class, nor do I want to be loyal to anyone else for that matter! I just want to drop out…

When you think of lovalty, what comes to mind?...

According to the Merriam Webster Dictionary, “Loyalty” means “A feeling of strong support to someone or something.”

What I think about when I hear the word “Loyalty” are many great qualities that we all should have. Some of these great qualities might seem familiar to you because they might be your topic, but today I want to briefly cover three of them that seem to be the most important qualities of loyalty: dedication, love, and faithfulness.

First, let’s talk about dedication. I at first thought this was going to be a tough topic for me. As far as I know, I’m a pretty loyal person, but it’s nothing I really think about. And no matter how hard I try to do well at these things, I’m not a gifted speaker. I’m an introvert, and in public situations I’d rather be quiet and listen. Every time I have to come up here to speak, I try my best to do well – but I struggle. I can’t even memorize my whole speech, no matter how hard I try to. God has blessed me to be more open in public, but I still struggle badly with public speaking.

I thought I was ready to present my last speech, however the grade I got for it proved that I really wasn’t. But I didn’t want to give up., I wanted to remain dedicated to my degree plan, because it’s always been one of my dreams to work in the creative field, so why drop classes that are required over a lousy grade because of my faults? All that’s going to do is make me out to look bad and like a failure. What is that going to achieve?

I was also determined to do well in something for a change, so instead I’m going to keep pushing on and working hard because you shouldn’t let your faults bring you down. I see others who do better at things I would like to do well in, and it just makes me want to try even harder. I’m not a very smart person at all, and have had many setbacks in my life. We all have our setbacks at some point, but we should never give up. Giving up doesn’t lead to anything but failure. We should instead all remain loyal to our dreams and goals.–that is, be dedicated and do what we can to overcome our setbacks – even if it means doing something you really don’t want to do like getting up in front of speech class to give a speech when you’re not a gifted speaker. Sometimes throughout life we are presented with things we don’t want to do, but we have to be loyal and not argue about it and just do it. Arguing normally doesn’t accomplish anything.

A second good quality of loyalty is love. Have you ever loved something or someone so much, that you would do anything for them or it? Some people love certain bands so much, that they would travel miles to see them play. They are loyal to those bands. Some people would love a certain film series so much they will wait in line at the theater in the cold to see it on opening day. Some people also love technology so much they will camp in parking lots to receive the first item on the shelf. these people love these things so much, that they are loyal to them. . Some people love their jobs so much that they would give up family time to be at work. Is some loyalty good? Probably not, but just use common sense and do the right thing, what or who should you love more? What or who is more important to you?

I met my wife 4 years ago, and we have had problems since the beginning of our relationship, but I love her very much that despite our problems I’m very loyal to her and I refuse to give up.

A dog is also very loyal to his master because he loves his master. A dog loves his master so much that he will just greet him each time he comes home, even when his master was only gone for a minute. If that’s not loyalty, I don’t know what is.

And finally: faithfullness. I found God recently. September 1^st to be more specific, and have been trying to put him first in my life. It’s difficult at times, but I still try. He has actually changed my life! He has blessed me quite a few times since I started putting him first, and even though stupid things still happen that cause me to question my faith, I still remain loyal to God. I know I’m not the only one who questions my faith either. A friend of mine at my church questions his faith sometimes as well, as I’m sure a lot of believers do. His wife is pregnant, and they are having major problems with the pregnancy. That would cause me to question my faith also but he still remains loyal and faithful to God.

Even Job from the bible remained faithful to God. Satan wanted God to allow Satan to test Job, to see if Job will turn his back on God. God allowed Satan to, and Satan wreaked all kinds of havoc on Job’s life. Letting all kinds of bad things happen to Job. Job not once turned his back to God, nor did he curse God and remained loyal to him.

Faithfulness, love, dedication. These are Three of the most important words I think of when I hear the word “loyalty”. Whatever it is you are doing in life: relationships, school, or work, you should remain loyal despite setbacks, and not throw in the towel. You also shouldn’t rebel against certain things asked of you. If you remain loyal you will eventually achieve great things, and be happier. Why live life like a quitter when that doesn’t accomplish anything?

Logo for ekim travel company

Jesus Teaches About Worry

Matthew 6:25-34 "That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life - whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear.  Isn't life more than food, and your body more than clothing?  Look at the birds.  They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly father feeds them.  And aren't you far more valuable to him than they are?  Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?

And why worry about your clothing?  Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow.  They don't work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are.  And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you.  Why do you have so little faith?

So don't worry about these things, saying 'What will we eat?  What will we drink?  What will we wear?  These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly father already knows all your needs.  Seek the kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries.  Today's trouble is enough for today."

Cross of Calvary

Quote of the Day For October 12, 2013

"Commonsense and good nature will do a lot to make the pilgrimage of life not too difficult."
--William Somerset Maugham

Verse of the Day For October 12, 2013

1 Chronicles 16:34 "Give thanks to the lord, for he is good!  His faithful love endures forever."

Cookin' On The Creek Logo

Recently, my intro to digital media class had a chance to create a logo for a client.  The Harrison Chamber of Commerce wanted a logo for the upcoming 4th annual “Cookin’ On The Creek” Festival.  My logo wasn’t chosen which is ok, but it wasn’t too bad.  what do you all think?

Changing A Flat Tire

Have you ever been driving along, and all of a sudden you start hearing that sound from your tires that doesn’t sound quite right?  Sometimes that sound can get even louder.  It’s a sound I can’t describe, and it makes you panicky wondering what’s going on, Folks, I had this experience recently.  Twice, as a matter of fact.  Obviously, I had a tire that went flat.  You can be on a crowded busy street somewhere, and you know you shouldn’t be driving on this tire, so what do you do, Right?

A couple months ago I had a flat while I was driving down the road and I started to panic wondering what I should do, and more recently I had a flat again but luckily I wasn’t driving down the road the last time.

Today, I’m going to demonstrate to you the best I can what you need to do to change a flat tire, that way when you do have one you don’t have to be like me a couple months ago and get panicky wondering what to do.

First off, don’t panic and find a safe flat area to pull over at.  Panicking will probably just leave you frustrated, and you don’t want to be frustrated while being on a busy road looking for a spot to pullover at.  Find a spot as quickly as possible, and then make your turn into that spot.

When you find a spot, make sure it’s flat enough so that when your car is jacked up it doesn’t end up rolling over.  Pull over and be sure to turn your hazard lights on, so that people passing by you can drive by with caution.

                        Second, you should grab all the tools that you will need from wherever they are stored in your vehicle.  There should be 3 things in your car that you will need to change your flat:  a jack, a lugnut wrench, and your spare tire.  I personally wasn’t going to bring in the spare tire, because I didn’t want anyone in the school wondering why someone was walking around in the school with a tire.

Your next step is to take the flat tire off.  First, Loosen the lugnuts most of the way using your lugnut wrench, but make sure not to loosen them completely.  Since the lugnuts are usually on pretty tight, my suggestion is to use your foot on the lugnut wrench to start loosening them since your foot is probably much stronger than your hands are. – and be sure to remember that famous phrase: righty tighty, lefty loosy.

Next, find a sturdy spot under your car near where the flat tire is to place your jack, and then start jacking your car up.  Jack it up just high enough so the tire is off the ground.  Then take the lugnuts off the rest of the way, either with the lugnut wrench or your fingers, and then remove the old tire.

Now we’re ready to put our spare on.  Take the spare tire and place it on the axle, matching the bolts on the axle with the holes on the rim of your spare, and be sure the tire is flush with your axle, this helps make sure it’s on straight and won’t damage your car.

put your lugnuts back on, and hand tighten them.  Make sure the tire stays flush with your axle.  When you tighten the lugnuts, be sure to tighten them in a cris-cross fashion so that the tire stays straight.  In other words, tighten this one, and then tighten this one, and then this one, and so forth.

Now lower your jack, and then use your lugnut wrench to tighten the lugnuts the rest of the way, again making sure that you tighten them in a cris-cross fashion.  Be sure to use your foot on your lugnut wrench when tightening them as well to make it even more tighter so that you don’t risk your spare tire falling off.

After you put all your tools away, and stowed away the old tire, you are now ready to be back on your way.  Turn off your hazard lights, and then make your way back into traffic safely.

Today I demonstrated to you what you need to do to change a flat tire, safely and effectively if you ever needed to change one.  If you get a flat, you probably shouldn’t just keep driving, you will risk a blow-out, endangering others.  Just pull off to the side of the road and just change the tire.  Just 10 minutes can save your car and lives.  Thank you.

James 3:1-12

Today’s lesson in Sunday school class is one all of us probably struggle with.  We need to learn to control your tongues and watch your words.  The words you end up saying might end up being hurtful, sometimes it is probably best to just stay quiet. 

Dear friends, today’s Christian life lesson is found in the book of James, Chapter 3, Verses 1 - 12; and let me tell you - I sat down and read the complete book of James this past week - There is some great stuff in there!  I also advise you all to read all the books the Apostle Paul wrote as well: Romans, Acts, Philippians, Ephesians, etc.  Such great things to learn can be found in those books as well!  Remember Philippians 4:13 “I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHICH STRENGTHENS ME!”

 

JAMES 3:1-12:

“Dear brothers and sisters, not many of you should become teachers in the church, for we who teach will be judged more strictly.  Indeed, we all make many mistakes.  For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way.
We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth, and a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong.  In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. 
But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire.  And the tongue is a flame of fire.  It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body.  It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself.
People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, but no one can tame the tongue.  It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison.  Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God.  And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth.  Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right!  Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water?  Does a fig tree produce olives, or a grapevine produce figs?  No, and you can’t draw fresh water from a salty spring.”

Bob Dylan’s “Pressing On”

Bob Dylan has always been one of my favorite musicians, and I have no clue what his beliefs are currently, but in 1980 he found God and put out a couple of pretty good Christian records: “Saved” and “Slow Train Coming.”  This particular song of his I first heard a few years ago when an artist I never heard of by the name of “John Doe” covered it for the soundtrack to the fictional dylan biopic “I’m Not There.”  The song is called “Pressing On” - one of my favorite Christian songs!

“PRESSING ON” by Bob Dylan

Well I'm pressing on
Yes, I'm pressing on
Well I'm pressing on
To the higher calling of my lord.

Many try to stop me, shake me up in my mind
Say, "Prove to me that He is Lord, show me a sign"
What kind of sign they need when it all come from within
When what's lost has been found, what's to come has already been ?

Well I'm pressing on
Yes, I'm pressing on
Well I'm pressing on
To the higher calling of my lord.

Shake the dust off of your feet, don't look back
Nothing can hold you down, nothing that you lack
Temptation's not an easy thing, Adam given the devil reign
Because he sinned I got no choice, it run in my vein.

Well I'm pressing on
Yes, I'm pressing on
Well I'm pressing on
To the higher calling of my lord.

James 2:1-13

Today in Sunday school we learned to be more welcoming to people at church and less judgemental. This is a major issue I have, and I think it’s out of fear of how people I don’t know might think of me, so I just simply don’t do it.  Last week, one person got baptized and another came forward and wanted to join the church.  I sat in the pew waiting for the line to die down to shake the hands of  those that just joined, but stupid me never got in line to shake their hands.  I felt fearful.  After today’s sunday school lesson, God laid it on my heart.  I felt I need to try and be more friendlier with those I do not know.  So when a family of 4 presented thereselves to join today, and another baptism was done - I got in line to shake there hands and welcome them.  There was no feelings of fear whatsoever.  God has uplifted that fear from me.

Read James 2:1-13.  It is some great words to live by - that can help you anywhere.  Not just for meeting people at church, but anywhere you go.  Be more welcoming to people and less judgemental.

James 2:1-13
"My dear brothers and sisters, how can you claim to have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ if you favor some people over others? For example, suppose someone comes into your meeting dressed in fancy clothes and expensive jewelry, and another comes in who is poor and dressed in dirty clothes. If you give special attention and a good seat to the rich person, but you say to the poor one, 'You can stand over there, or else sit on the floor" - well, doesn't this discrimination show that your judgements are guided by evil motives? Listen to me, dear brothers and sisters. Hasn't God chosen the poor in the world to be rich in faith? Aren't they the ones who will inherit the kingdom he promised to those who love him? But you dishonor the poor! Isn't it the rich who oppress you and drag you into court? Arent they the ones who slander Jesus Christ, whose noble name you bear? Yes indeed, it is good when you obey the royal law as found in the Scriptures. 'Love your neighbour as yourself.' But if you favor some people over others, you are committing a sin. You are guilty of breaking the law. For the person who keeps all of the laws except one is as guilty as a person who has broken all of God's laws. For the same God who said, 'You must not commit adultery,' also said, 'You must not murder.' So if you murder someone but do not commit adultery, you have still broken the law. So whatever you say or whatever you do, remember that you will be judged by the law that sets you free. There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when he judges you."

I’m A Creative Individual (Speech #1)

 

How many of you in here today like to write, draw, make films, or create different types of artwork?  There have been creative people since the dawn of time.  Authors, playwrights, filmmakers, songwriters, composers, painters, sculptors, and in today’s age even digital artists.

All of us in this room are interested in some sort of form of creative work.  Even if you are not a very creative person, you do enjoy things that a creative person made. Different songs you might like, films you like to watch, books you may like to read, or you might even be interested in looking at certain pieces of artwork.  All of these things, creative people played a role in making.

I, myself, am a pretty creative individual.  I have been ever since I was young.  I have even shocked myself when recently I picked up a hobby in painting.  Some of the things I like to do for fun are make short films, paint, write, and work with digital design.

Today I am going to express what led me to an interest in wanting to make short films, work with digital design, and what got me interested in painting.

Let’s start with my interest in making short films, first.  I was probably around 10 or so when I first got interested in making short films.  The film that started that interest for me was Back To The Future.  The special effects and the story line left me awestruck.  As a kid I always wondered “How did they do that?”  When I heard that Steven Spielberg played a role in the making of the series, I had gotten interested in his other films, and to this day he remains one of my biggest influences, although my short films are nothing like his.  I was so inspired by the film and it’s sequels that I at one time even wrote a screenplay that was similar to it. 

I was so interested in the technicalities of making a movie, that when my Jr. High school offered me a chance to work on there “news” broadcast that the students put on for the school, I took it.  My job was to run the cameras and the mixing board, and even do some video editing.

Mom even bought a camcorder to video family events with.  Now, this camcorder wasn’t one of those small dinky pocket size ones you have now.  This one was a big one that weighed probably 5 or 10 pounds that you put a VCR tape in to record on.  I took the skills I learned in that Jr. High broadcast class and started making my own little videos and things with it, including me and a couple friends doing things in front of the camera.  I eventually bought a digital camcorder, and I have made a few documentary type films that I have put on YouTube.  I would love to possibly make some Christian films someday.

Another creative thing I like to do, which I probably have a better chance at having a possible career with, is digital design.

I was 16 years old when I first started using the internet, and the first time I used it I learned that anyone could create their own websites, however at that time there were several sites online that offered “build your own personal website” services, but the technology of it I thought was pretty basic, and not very creative.  I wanted to learn how to be creative with site design, and how to build a site from scratch so I bought a book on HTML web design, and for those of you that don’t know HTML stands for Hyper Text Markup Language – it’s the language that tells a web browser how to show the pages you have created.

When I was 23, I was taking care of a website for a friend of mine, when someone he worked with who knew about graphic design came up to him and said he could make the site look much more professional.  My friend in turn put me in touch with this co-worker who introduced me to graphic design.  I than learned some graphics editing software and designed some graphics of my own with the software, and realized I have potential working in the digital arts field.

This eventually led me to want to go back to school, so I am now currently in my 3rd semester here at NorthArk for My Information Technology with the Emphasis in Digital Media degree.

During my first semester here, I took Basic Design I.  At the beginning of that semester, I didn’t think I would do that well in that class.  Even though I am pretty creative, I never saw myself as much of a painter.  In art classes growing up, all I could draw were stick figures, and my lines were never straight and I often had difficulties coloring in the lines.  In basic design class though, I learned I don’t have to be able to really draw to be a painter.  I just got to have a creative imagination, and anything can become art.

I don’t think I’m a great artist though.  My work is nothing compared to Picasso, or Dali, or Van Gogh’s work.  However, I do feel my work does have some potential.  I have made some paintings that I am currently trying to sell, and when my wife and I are running our booth at the farmer’s market, my paintings are usually on display there.

In closing, today I introduced myself and my creativity and what led me to being a creative minded individual.  I personally believe that we all have a creative side to us in some way, shape or form.  However, I think some of us feel that is our true calling in life.  I am on several social networks for the sole purpose of marketing my brand.  The brand of which is my creativity.  I would love to use my creative mind for anyone that needs creative thought and input.  So remember, whenever you watch a good film, read a good book, see a painting that you like – somebody with a creative mind did that.  Thank you.

10 Steps To The Perfect Portfolio Website | Smashing Magazine

My "Professional Image Building" teacher shared us this article.  Very interesting!  I thought I would reshare it.

10 Steps To The Perfect Portfolio Website | Smashing Magazine: "You may have a personal portfolio website for a number of reasons."   If you’re a freelancer, then you’d need one to showcase your work and allow people to contact you. If you’re a student (or unemployed), then you’d need one to show prospective employers how good you are and what you can do, so that they might hire you. If you’re part of a studio, then you might use one to blog about your design life, show people what you’re doing and build your online presence.

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9/11 Remembrance

Tomorrow as we all know is the 12th anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks on this great nation of ours. anytime between 9:00am and 10:00am why don't we all stop whatever it is we are doing, and meditate for a bit and say a prayer for America. Thanks, and God bless America!

Razorback #1

We Were Featured In The Harrison Daily Times Yesterday

Kristina and I were featured in the Harrison Daily Times newspaper yesterday, advertising our booth at the Central Ozarks Farmers & Artisan Market - which is held on the Harrison Square each Tuesday and Saturday from 6:00am until 12:00pm through October (Although we probably won't be there on Tuesdays anymore).  She has over 200+ patterns of scrunchies to choose from, headbands and bracelets - all handmaid.  My paintings are there also for sale.  I have 10 paintings ready to sell, and currently working on more and I also take custom orders.  Next Saturday (September 7) we will be there from 6:00am until 5:00pm during the Blue Sky Art Festival.  Stop by and support your local art and crafters!

This Is My Testimony

 

“LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU WHILE YOU ARE BUSY MAKING OTHER PLANS” – JOHN LENNON, 1980

I don’t know very much. I am pretty much a simpleton in this world. You ask me a question, I have no answer. While growing up, my parents were very over protective of us. Mom took care of everything and dad would laugh at me when I wasn’t able to do anything. Sometimes he would call me a baby because of things I wasn’t able to handle. If I remember right, even called me a girly boy a few times. I’d tell him things that would interest me and what I’d want to be when I grew up and he would laugh and tell me I needed real goals and dreams. Could you imagine what that does to a kid?

In school I was always picked on and harassed. Mom took me out of one school and switched me to another because of the harassment. The harassment even led to a nasty untrue rumor, that eventually got around to the new school.

I remember I started experiencing all these troubles when I was 10, when my family moved from the south-side of town to the north-side of town. I was the new kid, I guess. And I was also a loner. I picked up an interest in film and would act out my favorite films by myself on the playground during recess, I guess the other kids thought I was different than them so they just laughed at me. I guess this is where the harassment from them started.

Mom would see the things that sparked my interests. Mainly creative things: writing, music, and film and she would encourage me to keep on those interests, however what do I do to get people to see my talents? What do I do to develop those things? She bought me books on how to develop them, and helped me somewhat on that and was a major encouragement, but I don’t think she properly taught me how to handle things on my own. I was taught never to fight, to always run. However when I got older dad wanted me to build muscles and tried to get me to learn to fight – at a time when I felt “why for? I was told never to fight and now you’re telling me to?” My dad can be very confusing with his “do as I say, not as I do” way of thinking. He would drink and smoke but then tell us kids not to. Telling me not to fight back, just walk away but then trying to get me to learn to fight? I had no interest in building up muscle to fight. All I wanted was for him to quit laughing at me for not being able to do things, for the other kids to quit laughing at me, and to be able to do things and not get laughed at for them. I just wanted to be left alone.

I wasn’t harassed much in high school, but when others would make jokes directed towards me and weren’t necessarily being mean, I wasn’t able to recognize it because in the past I would experience it as harassment. I wanted to go to college after high school, but with run-ins with authority at school who sometimes looked at me like I was nothing but trouble when I wasn’t doing anything really wrong, and kept to myself mostly (I can’t remember the number of times I landed in the principal’s office just for telling others how I felt about things), and not being able to grasp certain educational concepts and being afraid I would get laughed at for asking teachers questions, I failed school. I graduated as a 2.0 or so gpa – I had mainly Ds and Cs. I had a chance during school to be an intern at a tv studio that mom set-up for me. I went for a tour of the studio, but in order for the job I had to talk to the supervisor of the studio but I was afraid to. I was afraid of rejection. I use the excuse to this day that it was because of the fact that I was working at the time, and wanted to make money, but looking back on it I think I didn’t do it really out of fear of getting rejected, so after graduation I just went to work in the retail industry in different stores. In 1999 I heard about a film school in New York, so I sent off for some information. Dad got the information before I did and even at 19 years old still insisted on laughing at me for my interests and dreams!

In 2002 I had nothing going for me, so I wanted to move far away to get my life on track. I had no real money saved up, so I got up the courage enough to talk to dad and his only reply was, “you can’t do that. What if something happened and you needed me and your mom’s help?” The thing was, I didn’t want my parents help anymore! I wanted to be able to be able to be on my own – heck, I was 22 years old!

In 2003, I lost my job at walmart and someone turned me on to graphic design. I realized that I was creative enough to probably do very well at it, and in 2007 I saw an ad for a digital creative school in Florida called “Fullsail University.” I sent off for info, and it’s obviously the dream school for me. However in order to go there I would need to have money for a trip to florida to tour the school, and I would than eventually needed to also have money to move there. My ex-wife, who I was with at the time, encouraged me to go to that school however, I didn’t have the money to go there, so I felt life wasn’t going my way at all.

In 2009, we break up and I met someone new and in February 2012 a tornado destroyed the store I was working at in Branson. I felt like what do I do now? My current wife and I got married, and I heard about the digital media program at North Arkansas College. I saw the classes necessary for the degree and I thought – “that’s the perfect degree for me!!” so I did what I needed to do to get started at NAC and this current semester we are in now is my 3^rd semester.

Sometime after my current wife and I got married, we started having some marital issues. We always had problems with our relationship but they got worse when we married. In April 2013, we had a huge fight where I ended up getting mom involved and she called the cops and I was arrested for a night. The next day my wife and I separated, and a couple days later her kids are taken away. We get back together a month later to try to work on things, which wasn’t a very successful attempt. She’s now in the DHS system and sees a counselor there. (All this is another long story that nobody really needs to know about)

Because of a blowout, she wanted to take me to one of the counseling sessions. So I went with her to probably 4 sessions, where I learned that I needed to quit depending on my mom and dad for help. After another blowout we separated again and so that counselor hasn’t requested to see me since then. (Also note: in April 2013, when the DHS investigator was doing there investigative report, they wrote that I “appear to be below average functioning” – which does not help my self-esteem much either!)

Even though my wife and I are separated, we are still together and I am now currently living with my brother. I have been since July 2013. I am currently battling with my mom sometimes when I try to confront her about why I think I have the problems that I do. She is very defensive about her overprotective parenting. My brother may have disabilities where he needs help on some things, and doesn’t understand certain things, but I am trying my best to help him and get him to understand things. I have expressed to him several nights how I been feeling.

Unfortunately, probably because of these conversations with him he has probably started having a worse attitude to mom, I don’t know. But mom has expressed to me that his attitude to her has gotten worse, and even though I hadn’t told her about conversations with my brother she feels I been telling him things. I have nothing against my mom and dad, however their overprotective parenting gets on my nerves. I feel it has stunted my growth as an individual. For the most part of my life she took care of important things because I didn’t know how to. I could take care of my own finances, but that was probably about it. So despite his disabilities I have tried to help my brother get more independent. Trying to show him why I feel our lives are so messed up. He probably started having a worse attitude toward her because of this, which wasn’t my intention, and when I even try to talk to mom about things I’ll be calm about it and she wants to be all upset about it. I try to open up to her and tell her why I feel my life has been so messed up, and since it deals with how she raised us she gets very defensive, and hateful and refuses to listen or understand what I’m trying to tell her. I find one of my biggest issues is I am easily irritable when others are irritated at me. I have learned that there are better ways to handle certain situations in this world and one should not get so irritated. Yes, I still get irritated I just try to still remain calm as much as I can.

What is wrong with my life? I was saved at age 16, but I do feel it was mainly from peer pressure. I was baptized in a Presbyterian church at 17 because mom and dad wanted our family to join the church. However, did I really understand God or his love? Somewhat, but not really. I even attended church each Sunday there for a while for the rest of high school, but had a falling out with them because of confusion, so for a while after I graduated I quit going to church unless I was invited somewhere. And then for the last couple years I attended somewhere, and in June 2012 (a month before my wife and I got married) she invited me to go to Alpena First Baptist Church, and I attend Sunday school and church there each Sunday ever since.

I hear other’s testimonies which are absolutely amazing. Including my best friend’s testimony (who is a member of Harrison First Baptist Church, by the way – where I attended for about a year) – and his testimony never fails to amaze me. The other testimonies I hear also never fail to amaze me. I hear about the scriptures in the bible. I may never understand God’s power completely, but it’s amazing how he has healed others through his grace!

So what is my testimony? What can I share to express my feelings of God’s love?

I’m not a very smart person. I don’t know much about anything accept for things that interest me. I definitely wasn’t a great student in school growing up, and I am not an A student in college, but I’m excelling more now as a college student than I ever did in school growing up. I was shocked at my grades in math and English last semester! I made Bs! In high school those were probably my worse classes (getting Ds in them)! I’m also a very quiet, shy, and introverted person. I don’t like to stand in front of crowds, or speak to people I don’t know, or even read in public settings, however this last Saturday I was helping my wife at our booth at the farmer’s market and I was able to lure all sorts of people to our booth. We stayed the longest we ever did that day, until 11:30 – and she was $28 richer from the sales she made that day, normally she only makes about $10 - $15, if she makes anything at all. (My wife has also denounced God completely because of her own personal problems, and every time I witness to her she flips out at me, but I do still keep trying and hope someday I can be able to win her back to the lord, please pray for her) Last week I was also able to read a whole set of verses in Sunday evening bible study without any issues, and this morning in Sunday school I stepped up (without being asked to) and read a set of verses.

I have come to realize that it don’t matter who you are, what your background is, or why you are afraid of doing things in life, but if God is put first in your life than you can do anything. If God is there for us, than who can be against us?