THE HEADLINES

 

(I was inspired to write this after hearing Weird Al’s “Headline News”)

I know a guy who killed his wife and her
friend in 1994.
He did it with a knife and claimed he didn't do it!
I say we boo him!
Don't squeeze the juice out of him, he's a goose.

I know a chick who cut off her husband's dick
because she was sexually harassed!
She cut it off
during his sleep, he didn't get beat!
She stood on her feet, and left!

I know a thing who could sing,
I don't know what it is
because it's screwed up
it tries to look like a girl
and has a bleached face!
He had a case about screwin'
a 13 year old boy!

I know a guy who blew up Oklahoma City,
he lived in Arizona!
He made bombs!
He was quiet as a kid!
He had 2 buddies work with him!
He was in the army!

I know 4 people,
OJ, Lorraina, Michael, and Timothy!
They are big in the headlines!
They love to act crazy,
'cause they are!
They're weird and strange,
that must be the reason why they're in
the headlines!